


Cracked Actor

by ILookDaftWithOneShoe



Series: 'Loki Feison is alive and well and living only in theory' [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: A surprising amount of smut for me, AU, Actor!Human!Loki, Aren't these some cheerful tags, Canon!Tony, Drama, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Sadism, Humour at times, In which Tony gets dragged into strange places by Loki, Infidelity, Loki Does What He Wants, M/M, Smut, bamf!darcy, do not try to throw people down stairs at home, loki's a little shit, psychopathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-08
Updated: 2013-05-17
Packaged: 2017-12-07 20:51:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/752948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILookDaftWithOneShoe/pseuds/ILookDaftWithOneShoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's life is caving in on him a little, but he can handle it. He just needs a few deep breaths and a bit of time away in Malibu. But there, he meets actor and debauchery enthusiast Loki Feison, who drags him into a new world (or maybe it's his original one?) and smashes Tony's old one into a thousand pieces.</p>
<p>Technically based on the song Cracked Actor by David Bowie, but no knowledge is required.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I've Come On A Few Years From My Hollywood Highs

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly - in this universe the Asgardians are humans, and the Avengers (minus Thor) were brought together by other supervillians instead of by the invasion. Loki is post-Avengers Loki, with the crazy give-no-fucks attitude.
> 
> I've prewritten three chapters and I'm pretty inspired, plus My Religion Is You is nearly over, so updates should be regular.
> 
> This is partially (who am I kidding, completely) based on the song Cracked Actor by David Bowie. I'd recommend you listen to it, but no one ever follows song recommendations on fics, so eh, don't bother.

It all started when the kid died.

Not Tony's kid, oh no, nothing so _familiar_ , but a kid wearing an Iron Man t-shirt. Tony never bothered to learn his name. The kid, he'd been caught by an assault on New York by some fucker who fancied himself a supervillian, and Tony had deprioritised him when faced with the choice between saving the kid and saving a police officer. Tony had figured if he retrieved the police officer, he could help save people.

The policeman had run away, and the kid had died, blood all over Tony's mask's visage dyed on his shirt.

It had only been Pepper's intervention that had stopped Tony kicking the policeman's skull in; in any case, the man had been fired from his job.

Tony had stumbled home after shouting himself stupid at the police officer, after delivering a report to Fury, and after repairing the suit. He'd snatched a bottle of alcohol - did it really matter what type? Tony wanted to get drunk, simple as that - and locked Pepper out of his workshop to alternate between drinking and fending off panic attacks and PTSD.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the t-shirt, splattered with the blood of the crushed child. So he tried to stop closing his eyes. Not blinking didn't work, but he did fend off a lot of sleep, at least until he passed out and awoke screaming.

Eventually JARVIS let Pepper override the lockout Tony had in place in his lab and drag him out.

"Tony, I know it hit you hard, but you need to get yourself together," Pepper had said disapprovingly.

"Come on, man, I know you're hurting, but it wasn't your fault. I would've made the same call," Clint had reassured.

Tony had ignored them all, taken his stir-fry, and skulked away again.

After about a week of this behaviour, they had decided to stage an intervention. During this, Tony told them all to fuck off, and he shouted at Pepper rather a lot.

It was then he decided he needed a break. So, without telling anyone, he packed his stuff and flew to take a sudden vacation in Malibu. Just him and his scotch, and maybe a robot.

On the third day, after ignoring phone calls from SHIELD, the Avengers and Pepper alike, Tony decided he was bored enough to go out. A quick browse through the event calendar revealed a party for some actor, and after taking a shower to purge himself, that was where he headed.

-O.O-

The party was like a million others Tony had attended in his lifetime, and therefore was actually rather dull, especially seeing as he wasn't intending to pick anyone up. That might have been Pepper's final straw.

He'd arrived late, missed the speeches and whatnot intentionally, and was milling around drinking.

And the _people._ They were so fucking _boring._ Tony was tempted to make some kind of commotion just to find something to do.

"Dull, aren't they?" A smooth English voice sighed.

"Without a doubt," Tony replied, turning to face the newcomer. He was drunk enough that the man's features didn't really stick in his mind. Green eyes, black hair, cheekbones. That was really about it. "You think you're any better?"

"Oh, I know I am," The man grinned. "I've spent enough time around society whores like these to know that my idea of _fun_ is far more entertaining than theirs."

Anyone who'd openly call the people around them 'whores' was probably deserving of Tony's attention. "And you are?"

"My gods, you really are drunk, aren't you?" The man smirked.

"What? Why'd you say that?"

The man facepalmed. Delicate, strong hands, they would look good on Tony's-

Okay, he was drunk.

"Well, Mr Stark, you're drunk and I grow weary of dull conversation and watered down drinks," The man said. "And I am rather in the mood for a good reaming. We should go somewhere and fuck."

That took the cake for both the most blatant proposition and the shortest conversation before sex was mentioned Tony had ever had. His jaw slackened slightly in disbelief; should he go along with it?

"If you're wondering, I have the most sensitive gaydar on the West Coast," The man explained. "And on a number of other coasts. I'm not wrong, Mr Stark, and I'm not the first man to realise you're not completely straight."

"Uh..." Tony's brain still hadn't quite caught up, though what the man was saying was completely true. "Yes?"

Fuck Pepper, fuck his social standing; he fancied some good ol' fashioned one-night-stand crazy sex against a flat surface.

The man grinned wickedly, and Tony felt like he was being pulled into a river's current.

-O.O-

It had been years since Tony had slept with a guy, but like riding a bicycle, riding a man wasn't really something you forgot how to do.

The taxi driver - Happy lived in New York now - forbade any messing around in the back seat, so Green Eyes settled himself by gently teasing Tony with light touches against his thighs. Gods, Tony was worked up and nothing had happened yet.

"Look away, Green Eyes," Tony insisted as he tapped his code and checked his fingerprint on his phone to open the gates to his property.

"It's Loki," He sighed, like this was a fact Tony should know.

Tony could maybe remember that. Maybe. He told Loki as much, making the other man roll his eyes for the thousandth time.

The cabbie insisted on a double fare for his confidentiality. How annoying. Happy was never that fussy. Once Tony had the door closed, Loki took charge, pinning him to the wall with his body.

"I plan to enjoy myself, Mr Stark," Loki breathed hotly onto Tony's neck, making the smaller man's skin tingle into goosebumps. "As I said, I would like to get fucked."

"Call me Tony," Tony grinned. Oh, he was relishing this. It was usually the confident ones that were the best in bed. He leaned forward and kissed Loki on the mouth for the first time, initially a light brush to test him, deepening to a firm press. He felt Loki's tongue on his lips, and opened his mouth to make the kiss wet and messy.

Loki's hands that Tony had reflected on earlier were teasing, one tangled in his hair, the other delicately brushing his thigh far too close to what was quickly becoming a full hard-on.

"Fucking tease," Tony growled, breaking away from the kiss to mouth under Loki's ear as he made quick work of the other man's suit jacket, tie, and shirt.

"Relax, Stark," Loki smirked, snatching Tony's hands and pinning them above his head with one of his own. Gently, Loki worked Tony's cock through his pants, light touches that just frustrated him more. His hand slipped backwards. "Mm, nice ass."

"Glad you think so," Tony gasped, rebelling against Loki's control to press a knee against his crotch. Loki's answering groan was enough to make Tony's skin feel too tight. Whoever this guy was, he moaned like a whore.

This, this was what Tony had needed, a beautiful man tugging at his belt, working his clothes off, breathing heavily with lust. Tony's hands were free now, free and tugging Loki's pants down too to find a distinct lack of underwear and Loki's erection, just begging for Tony to wrap his hand around it and stroke, which he did.

Loki's choked groan was enough for Tony to decide to change things up.

"Bedroom," He grunted. "Soft mattress, better than a wall."

Loki snorted. "Depends on how you want it, dear." As they travelled the hallway, stopping briefly for a quick kiss or to grind against each other. Tony was slightly more sober now, and he could examine Loki properly; a lightly muscled, elegant dancer's frame boasting a pretty face and a long cock now dripping a little with precum. It wasn't often Tony cared about his lover's physique beyond checking they weren't hideous, but gods, Tony liked this one. And with his black hair and green eyes, he was nothing like Pepper, which let Tony detach himself a bit.

"You're a slut, aren't you, Stark?" Loki murmured as they reached Tony's bedroom and Loki flopped himself down on his back, luxuriously stroking himself a little, his breathing heavy.

Jesus, Tony liked this bastard. So forward.

"You've fucked and been fucked every way imaginable, a foolish whore sucking you off in a closet, a rich businessman writhing underneath you, you calling out in pleasure as a man forces himself into you from behind." Loki continued as Tony climbed on the bed over him, kissing his chest, sucking at his nipple. "Unh - and you liked it. I'm much the same, Stark, I like my sex, love it in every form."

Loki grabbed Tony's shoulders and rolled them over, leaning down from his new position on top to kiss Tony, more tongue and teeth than anything as sweet as lips. _"Fuck_ me, Stark, make me cry your name in ecstasy."

"You've got one hell of a mouth on you," Tony laughed, grazing his fingernails down Loki's spine to get a feral growl before his digits slipped between Loki's cheeks and rubbed over his entrance. Loki's hiss of pleasure was more than enough of an indicator. He slipped the tip of a finger in, and Loki pushed back eagerly. "Wait." Tony muttered. "Lube."

Loki rolled his eyes and reached over to the bedside table - where else does anyone keep it? - to grab the little bottle and a condom. "Condom on, Stark, I don't want to even _imagine_ what diseases you've been exposed to."

"Hey, I'm clean!" Tony protested, but slid it on anyway. He slid his eyes back up to Loki to see him already tipping lube onto his fingers and dipping them into his ass, lubing, before running his slick hand down Tony's cock. He held it in place and slid down quickly, ass against Tony's hips, and Tony cried out in pleasure at Loki's tightness.

_"Jesus fucking Ch-rist!"_ Tony gasped. "Are you okay? You barely fucking prepped or anything!"

"Practice," Loki cackled, placing his hands to rub at Tony's nipples a little as he began to move himself up and down. Tony's hands flew to Loki's hips to help him fall and he moaned in gratification.

This man - and Tony hoped he wasn't an opportunistic prostitute, though as Loki showed his skills, it was looking more and more likely - was easily one of the best Tony had had. Confident, skilled, sexy, _fuck yeah._

Loki trembled suddenly before rocking back a little and shaking again, and Tony knew what he'd hit, punching upwards with his hips.

"Fuck!" Loki yelped, overcome with sensation for a moment. Tony knew that feeling.

"Fuck, Loki, fuck-" He was saying. Loki's arms were shaking, hard, and Tony pulled him down for a kiss before rolling them over and fucking into Loki, hard and fast.

Loki was just panting his name over and over, sweat beading on his temples as his hands scrabbled across Tony's back. "St- Stark, please-"

Barely hearing him through the haze of pleasure, Tony took one hand from beside Loki's head and stroked Loki roughly, and with a final call of "Stark!" Loki came, white cum spurting onto Tony's hand and his own abdomen.

With a clench of his ass, Loki brought Tony to climax, temporarily whiting out his vision as he came. As aftershocks rolled through him, Tony kissed Loki, who opened his mouth eagerly to accept Tony's tongue.

As he softened, Tony pulled out and slipped his condom off, falling onto the bed next to the other man, trying to regulate his breathing.

Loki chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Tony breathed.

"Yes, that was much more entertaining than watching societal prigs swap gossip," Loki grinned. "Give me ten minutes and I'll give you the blowjob of a lifetime."

Jesus, Loki was the best bad decision Tony had ever made.

Later, after Loki had sucked him off and Tony had repaid the favour, he fell into the first nightmare-free sleep he'd had for what felt like forever.


	2. The Cleanest Star They Ever Had

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony realises who he's slept with, and the fuckee seems only too glad to be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is easily the least interesting of the chapters, and the shortest, for which I humbly apologise.
> 
> By the way, I feel oddly compelled to mention - Loki's last name is pronounced Fey-zin. Not like the end of Laufeyson, which is Fee-syn. I don't know, I'm nitpicky like that.
> 
> And I'd recommend music. Music improves this story. Thankfully.

Tony's head was pounding. He felt like a mixture of sand and carrion had been in his mouth. His surroundings smelt like sex and sweat. And it was perfect.

Despite what his parents and life in general had tried to mould him into, Tony was not a tidy, civilised man. He liked sleeping around and drinking and back in the old days a pill or three or maybe a snort of whatever, and all the (previously) stable relationships and heroic responsibilities in the world didn't change that.

Maybe all the straight-laced heroics were driving him over the edge. Maybe Loki (insert last name here) had pulled him back from the brink.

After wriggling around, Tony ascertained that Loki was no longer in his bed, though a heated patch indictated he hadn't been gone long. So Tony dragged himself up, chucked on a pair of jeans and walked off to hunt Loki down.

Loki didn't take much hunting; he was leaning against the railing of Tony's balcony, dressed in his dress shirt and slacks from last night and smoking a cigarette, balanced between two long white fingers.

Now that Tony was sober and not any more horny than usual, he could see who he'd fucked; Loki was tall, slim, with oddly pale skin, surprisingly long black hair and a sharp-edged face that seemed strangely familiar. He was good-looking, but not in the typical sense.

"Tossing me out so soon?" The man chuckled when he heard the doors open, not bothering to turn around.

"Maybe," Tony said nonchalantly, standing by Loki's side. Loki clearly wasn't your usual golddigging whore, in fact he seemed to be openly mocking of them, so maybe he warranted a full name for Tony's memory. "I didn't catch your last name."

"I didn't say it. I assumed you knew," Loki blew a smoke ring and watched it drift away, before adding "It's Feison. Loki Feison."

Tony blinked twice. "Wait, what? That party was for you last night?"

"I did mention you were insensibly drunk," Loki grinned.

"Drunk, yes, insensible, no," Tony frowned. "It's probably bad manners, fucking the host speechless."

"I've not been speechless a day in my life," Loki said mock-innocently, grinning a little in a daring way. "Oh, come on, Stark, how many Lokis have you heard of? And that were likely to be at that party? It's not a common name, no, I made sure of that."

"Yeah, I don't think I was sober enough to think it that far through. What, you picked it? It's a stage name?" Tony asked.

"Loki Feison, actual name Lucas Laufeysson. But, let's face it, that name is both mouthy and dull."

"I like it."

"I don't," Loki shrugged. "And it's my opinion that matters, not yours, Stark."

"You really think you're something, don't you?" Tony replied bemusedly.

"Well, I've been nominated for five different awards from my last two movie roles, I have-" He checked his phone "Eight contract offers to look over, a virtual _army_ of fangirls dying every time I call someone a git in my 'liquid sex' accent, and a large house in London as well as my winter home here in Malibu. So yes, my tiny billionaire, I do think I am something."

"Well, then, why the fuck did you sleep with me?" Tony asked. Hey, it was a valid question. Why was this actor here?

"As I said, I was bored and you have experience enough to not irritate me like many clumsy virgins," Loki said. "Nothing personal."

Tony went silent for a few minutes as he pondered the strange creature on his balcony. Here was Loki, a film star even Tony had heard of, who had openly admitted to loving getting fucked and clearly smoked a few, and had ditched his own party for a roll in the sheets with Anthony Edward Stark because he was bored.

On reflection, Tony decided that he actually sort of liked Loki.

"Why are you still here?" Tony wondered.

"Am I expected to leave?" Loki asked with a little smirk. Confident fucker.

"Nah, not unless you're expecting a stable relationship, cause I'm not doing that," Tony replied.

"What about Miss Pepper Potts?" Loki said cuttingly, mock-innocent.

"If you mention last night to her-"

"And this morning."

"What?"

"I want a shower and I'd appreciate it if you would join me. Add 'this morning' to your list of things I cannot mention to your _girlfriend,"_ Loki explained.

"I'm serious, Loki," Tony frowned. "I was drunk. Hell, you came onto me."

"Do you see me denying either of those statements?" Loki asked. "Personally, I have no idea what the appeal is in being tamed into a domestic relationship, but to each their own."

"I haven't been tamed-"

"Prove it," Loki's little smirk grew into a full-blown evil grin. "Come out with me tonight."

"What? No! I can't-" Loki's eyes were laughing at him. He could see it. "Fuck you."

"You already did," Loki pointed out. "To copy a phrase my brother repeatedly threw at me, 'go on, I double-dare you!' You will enjoy yourself. Even if I have to suck you off to make you smile."

"Jesus, you sure you don't know Pepper? You drive a hard bargain," Tony sighed.

"Is that a yes?" Loki said, with a soft smile and a widening of his sweet, innocent green eyes. Tony could feel his heartstrings being pulled; this guy was definitely an actor, and a good one too.

What should Tony do? He was torn between trying to keep himself to the clean lifestyle he'd aimed for since properly shouldering the responsibility of being Iron Man, and following this green-eyed contemporary into his old life.

The Iron Man t-shirt flashed into his mind, splattered with blood. Being Iron Man hadn't made him happy recently; maybe he needed to try somewhere else.

"I'll come."

-O.O-

Loki threw an address and his mobile number at Tony after they showered together. When he left, he made the walk (or drive) of shame look rather classy.

Pondering life was Tony's game for the afternoon; he was debating telling Loki to go fuck himself. After all, the guy was so bloody arrogant - he'd waltzed around Tony's house like he owned it and treated Tony like they'd known each other for years. It was like he knew exactly how people would react, so he knew exactly how far to push. Then again, he was an actor, and by all rights he should have a good understanding of what makes people tick.

That was probably part of Loki's brand of charm; push all limits, give no fucks, and have a demented sense of humour. Tony didn't want to like him, but he did. His short time with Loki wasn't something he needed to think about, and he could just forget all the organisation and premeditation of his normal life. It was oddly relaxing, like turning your brain off and listening to the white noise.

Turning off the brain of registered genius Tony Stark was a difficult feat, and Tony decided that if he could have some reprieve from the dark thoughts constantly chasing each other around his mind, he'd take it.

So that evening, he dressed in Loki's proposed code of tidy jeans and a t-shirt - Loki had hinted towards high temperatures despite the fact it was coming into winter - and got a taxi, giving the driver the address.

He wasn't sure where he was going or what he expected, but as it turned out, the address was Loki's Malibu home, where he was holding another party for whatever reasons.

Tony entered uncertainly. The house wasn't dissimilar to his own, with wood floors, wide spaces, white walls and many windows. In fact, the biggest difference was that while Tony's house was usually empty or sparsely inhabited, Loki's was packed wall to wall with the more party-inclined of LA's finest. Tony even recognised some of the people, and for sure, they recognised him, instantly sucking him into various conversations. Cleavage was pushed against his arm, men kissed ass (metaphorically - mostly), and there were a great deal of people smoking and drinking on the wide balcony that had a sunken plunge pool stuffed with scantily dressed folks.

It was kind of like the parties Tony used to hold and attend. Before he'd been forced into growing up.

"Stark!" A familiar English accent proclaimed. Tony whirled from the conversation he was in to see Loki swooping down on him, pressing a glass of champagne into his hand and ruffling his hair. "Dear child of the bright mind and sturdy thighs-"

"And you called me drunk yesterday," Tony smirked.

Loki raised an eyebrow, which accentuated his blown pupils and slightly vacant expression. "On the contrary, I've barely touched a drop. Alcohol is not my poison."

"Well, what is?" Tony said with a raised eyebrow. Everyone like Loki had one, right? And Loki was clearly on something.

"If you behave, I'll tell you," Loki grinned secretively. "I trust you're fitting in here?"

"Babe, I was born to work a crowd," Tony said, shooting a grin right back at him. "This place is a piece of cake."

"Drink." Loki said with a nod at his glass. Obediently, Tony downed it, the bubbles burning his nose. "Piece of cake, hm? I find it a little boring. I'll remember to increase the stakes next time."

"Next time? That's a little forward, Feison," Tony smirked.

"Forward's what I'm all about," Loki chuckled, proving his point by leaning down to lick across Tony's collarbone for a breathless moment before wandering away.

"What the fuck..." Tony breathed, wiping the saliva off his collarbone with his shirt and wandering off to find more alcohol and a new conversation.

-O.O-

The night passed in a rush, punctuated by more alcohols of various sorts and a few weird happenings. These included someone tipping ice down the back of Loki's jacket while he had his tongue down some girl's throat (oddly enough, Tony didn't feel even the tiniest flicker of jealousy. It was what it was) a woman being thrown into the plunge pool, designer dress and all, and the accidental breaking of one of Loki's windows with what looked like a pair of dentures. To Tony's amusement, Loki didn't look like he could possibly care less about any of those things, though he had flinched violently at the feel of the ice.

As the night was ending, Tony went to say goodbye to the host, but Loki made him stay with a mutter of 'if Tony Stark dies on the roads after my party my agent will be pissed' and made Tony share his bed with both himself and a man that Tony was sure he'd seen in the movies before and seemed to be a vague acquaintance of Loki's.

He woke up in the morning after a (blessedly) nightmare-free night with Loki using him as a body pillow and the man long gone, plus a hangover that surpassed all previous records.

Loki's solution was painkillers, water and being told to stop being such a pussy.

"You're Tony Stark, for fuck's sakes," Loki sighed. "Aren't you supposed to be the original party animal?"

Time spent around Clint meant that Tony could verify that the original party animal was in fact the Pinata, but it didn't seem like Loki expected an answer.

When Tony was going to leave, Loki stopped him on his way out the front door.

"Stark. I believe I promised to up the stakes?" Loki said. "Meet me tonight at Blitz on Vine."

Well. He couldn't say no to a challenge, now, could he?


	3. You Sold Me Illusions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's adventures in infidelity take a twist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is hardly hot shit. The next one, I promise you, is a goody. I'm loving writing it *insane laughter*
> 
> (btw I know the pron in this is stupidly short but Tony's too drunk to actually remember all of it, so the perspective has to change accordingly)
> 
> Ten bonus points to the peeps who pick up the Bowie quote in here.
> 
> And there is no movie that I'm aware of called Letters To My Past, thank god.

Tony did go to meet Loki that night at Blitz, a slightly bizarre underground club the twenty year old Tony would have been all over. There was alcohol, copious quantities of it, and dirty dancing and Loki seemed a little bit bored, like he always did all the times Tony had seen him. He was a little perkier when conversing with Tony, but Tony had seen that look before; the look of the intelligent man without nearly enough thinking material.

That night, Tony reached the conclusion that Loki was smart, smart enough that he found life boring. Tony knew that feeling.

Enough people hit on Tony that he considered taking someone home, but he'd already made his mistakes with Pepper by sleeping with Loki, who, fortunately, had no interest in telling anyone who mattered what had happened between them. That didn't mean Loki didn't acknowledge it, because he was constantly sexually forward with Tony and ignored all boundaries of decency, but suspicion was hardly raised when Loki acted like that towards everyone. All genders included. And it wasn't just sexually Loki was cavalier. He did what he wanted.

Tony remembered to get a taxi home instead of driving, so at least Loki didn't have to strain himself by rolling his eyes again.

The next morning, Tony was nursing a sore head and he decided to sit around all morning and ignore calls from the Avengers, Pepper and Fury regarding the photos of him out and about at Blitz. In search of something to do, he decided to watch one of Loki's movies, get a look at the guy he seemed to have inadvertently made friends with.

 _Letters To My Past_ sounded like shit. And the plot was. Forbidden love, dramatic backstories, mushy musical numbers, sappy love letters...a pile of tropes, and not something Tony even slightly enjoyed.

But then there was Loki. He played the male lead perfectly, changing everything about himself, even his way of standing, which changed from an insolent swagger to a nervous enthusiasm. It was about eight years old, so Loki's face was younger and lacked its sharp edges, but he pulled off naive and innocent to the letter and probably still could. And boy, could the man sing.

Having met and consequently fucked the guy, Tony was impressed. No wonder the stuck-up asshole had teenage girls lined up around the block chasing him, if he was so good at lying about who he was.

After plowing his way through another movie, this one not featuring a Mr Feison, JARVIS told Tony he had an incoming call from Coulson and a visitor at the front gate. The former was turned away and the latter was Loki's chaffeur wanting to drive Mr Feison up to the house.

Curious, Tony allowed it, and soon Loki was stepping into the house with a tiny smirk at the spot he'd pinned Tony to the wall three days prior.

Without a word, Loki threw himself on Tony's couch and stretched out with a contented sigh.

"Am I hiding you from the cops?" Tony asked sarcastically. "Did you kill someone?"

"Whyever would you think that?" Loki replied with a grin.

"Because I feel like I'm being used as a safe house." Tony shrugged.

"We all are, Stark, all being used to force society into some semblance of order." When Loki said that, Tony vaguely wondered if Loki was high. "In any case, nobody has earned my wrath today. I was bored. Entertain me."

"I'm not your fucking monkey." Tony said irritably.

"Agreed." Loki replied with a tiny chuckle. "That would be crude, even by my standards. My, what have you been watching? Anyone I should know?"

Resigned to the fact Loki had inexplicably decided he was setting up camp on his couch, Tony told him. "I watched _Letters To My Past_ before this."

Loki's look of disgust could have sent ripples through the universe. "Of all my works, you had to pick an early one. And a poorly scripted and storyboarded one at that. My acting is terrible, as is _everything else_. Fuck's sake, Stark."

"I'll agree the movie was shit." Tony admitted. "But your acting was its only good bit."

Loki gave a snort of derision. "There are no 'good bits'. It's irredemable."

"Whatever. Are you just here to correct my opinions, or do you actually have some reason to be here?" Tony frowned.

"I was bored. Now I'm not. It's a success story." Loki smirked. "Speaking of which, you must come out tonight."

" _Must_ I?" Tony mocked Loki's English accent. "Well, if the _good sir_ commanded it so..."

"Hm. Well, it's a charity event for _your_ company, so turning up and smiling at a few people may just slightly decrease how obscenely angry your so-called girlfriend must be by now." Loki said. "Signs would indicate you still haven't talked to any of your Avengers."

"Why would I need to talk to them?" Tony snapped.

"The only reason you're in California is to distance yourself from them, considering the amount of time you're spending alone and/or inebriated. And a phone call with them would either send you into a deeper depression or send you slinking back home with your tail between your legs. Neither of those has happened." Loki said coolly, and once again Tony was struck by Loki's blatant intelligence and measure of people. "Come tonight. The society charity part will be boring as fuck but the afterparty's bound to be a scream."

-O.O-

Loki's predictions were completely correct. Tony was bored out of his mind during the charity event, despite giving an improptu speech and smiling politely for endless cameras with the thought of pleasing Pepper in mind.

As Loki promised, all his associates did hold an after-party, renting the room the charity ball was held in for directly afterwards.

Similar to the party at Loki's house, it was chaotic and messy, and the perfect time to disengage his brain.

At one point towards the end of the night Loki was lying in Tony's lap smoking a cigarette and cheerfully allowing his chest to be used as a coaster for Tony's hundredth - or so it felt - drink. The actor had modified the song _DJ_ and was murmuring _"I am an actor; I am who I play."_ over and over.

"Why the fuck are there so many parties in this town?" Tony asked in a slur. "I mean, there'll be more than this somewhere. Do you ever get bored of just drinking and grinding against people? Except you don't drink."

Loki's slightly incoherent state was attributable to not alcohol, but some mysterious white pills offered to him a dark-haired woman he seemed to be associated with. He'd only had two, but they'd made him pretty odd for the last two hours.

"I get bored of a multitude of things." Loki shrugged. "Sex is pretty much the only thing that ticks both my boxes of interesting and pleasurable. Sex and manipulating people. So the grinding can stay."

"Wow, you're an asshole, aren't you?" Tony chuckled, brain-to-mouth filter washed away by scotch.

"Guilty as charged." Loki smirked and then continued singing. After repeating his botched line a dozen times, he abruptly sat up, sending Tony's drink clattering to the floor, and climbed onto Tony's lap, murmuring "I'm not in any state to drive and I doubt you are. We should rent a hotel room and fuck."

Tony wasn't going to get over Loki's ridiculous amount of forwardness any time soon. "I could get a taxi."

Loki wrapped long fingers into his hair and pulled him into a hot kiss, licking the taste of scotch from his mouth. "You could. You aren't going to."

It was pretty tempting to shove Loki off him and leave just to be contrary, but on the other hand Tony didn't feel like stumbling home all alone to have nightmares. This was a much more pleasant option, Pep be damned.

"You're right, asshole." Tony growled, yanking Loki into another kiss.

-O.O-

Tony hadn't expected to enjoy himself so much and he doubted Loki did either. Loki's mouth around his cock, his ass breached by two long fingers that touched his prostate just lightly enough to drive him nuts, and Tony was almost begging Loki to move faster, press harder, fucking do _something._

After finally getting a _'please'_ out of Tony, Loki abruptly forced Tony's cock deeper in his throat until he choked a little. With the increased speed and depth, Tony came long and hard down the other man's throat with a shout of his name.

Breathing desperately, Loki climbed up Tony's body to pull him into a furious cum-laced kiss, his hand flying to his own cock. Batting his hand away, Tony regained his senses and took over, bringing Loki to orgasm with a crushed noise.

Loki hovered above him for a moment, his breathing slowing as he tried to bring his heart rate down, before he fell onto the bed and reached over to the bedside table for tissues to clean up.

"Sometime," Loki murmured, leaning over the arc, letting its glow make his eyes appear glassy and blue. "You'll tell me about this."

"Yeah, right. Night, dickwad." Tony said dozily.

-O.O-

Tony awoke with his head throbbing for the fourth morning in a row. Light was streaming in the windows, blinding him, and Loki himself was sitting in the armchair on the other side of the room.

"Close the curtains." Tony croaked.

Loki wordlessly got to his feet, closed them, and then threw himself luxuriantly across the bed. He'd half-redressed himself but hadn't gotten around to showering, so his shoulder-length black hair was sticking in all directions. "Miss Potts called the hotel phone." He said nonchalantly.

"What?" Tony exclaimed, wincing as his head fired with pain.

"She was a little distraught that I answered. Apparently some paparazzi got an excellent photo of us kissing and she hoped it was all a big mistake." Loki said, sounding way too pleased with himself.

A bolt of panic shot down Tony's spine; Loki _had_ to be lying, Pepper couldn't know, he was on thin enough ice as it was! _"What did you tell her?!"_ Tony snarled, sitting up and finding his boxers.

"I did nothing. I mentioned you were still asleep and would call back when you were awake." Loki said innocently.

Considering Loki hadn't really done anything wrong except proposition him, Tony knew his anger at the dark-haired actor wasn't particularly fair. Regardless he shot Loki a dirty look and reached down to his suit jacket to pick up his cellphone and call Pepper.

 _"Anthony Edward Stark."_ Pepper snarled as soon as she answered. "I have been putting up with your temper tantrum for long enough. Now there's a photo of you kissing that actor in every newpaper in the _country_ , your stock's dropped, my phone won't stop ringing, and I consider myself to be rightfully angry because _we're supposed to be dating!"_

"Pep-"

"Oh, no, don't you _Pep_ me." She snapped right back. "Get back to New York, stop acting like a rebellious teenager, and if Loki Feison of all people answers any phone of yours again so help me I will _castrate_ you."

The phone call abruptly stopped.

Tony looked over at Loki. The actor's eyes were sparkling even as he stayed smoothly straight-faced, and he was obviously holding in laughter.

"I'm gonna fucking _kill_ you." Tony snarled, getting up and shoving Loki into the wall next to the chair. A newspaper was splayed across the furniture, open to the page where there was a photo of Tony and Loki liplocked last night.

"What did I do?" Loki asked with a shit-eating grin, even as Tony's hands squeezed his shoulders a little too tight.

"You fucking knew someone with a camera was looking, didn't you? _Didn't you?"_ Tony shouted, pushing Loki again and smacking his head on the wall.

Loki's grin didn't falter. "Where's the evidence of that?" He asked, which was tantamount to a confirmation.

"Stop _smiling at me like that!"_ Tony said. "You're like a snake, you know that? You're so slippery, you thought it out!"

"If you'll remember correctly, I was far from sober and mentally capable last night," Loki replied drily. "And again, I see no evidence."

"I want to punch that little smirk right off your stupid face." Tony growled as he strayed one hand to press against Loki's windpipe.

Loki just grinned wider and chuckled again. "I don't give a fuck. Kill me and dump me in a ditch somewhere, I honestly don't mind. But if you're planning to just injure me, I'd request you stay away from the face."

Tony raised an eyebrow at the man he had pinned.

"I'm an actor, Stark. My face is my money." Loki pointed out, looking bored by the situation.

With a deep breath, Tony willed himself to stay calm. He didn't need to murder a reputable actor today. He didn't. Just because he wanted to, didn't mean he needed to. Of course, that didn't mean he didn't need to do _something._ "Why are you an actor? Hell, why do you have friends? You're completely intolerable!"

"Hm." Loki bit his lip to think. "Acting talent, good looks, the ability to charm, a singing voice to die for - I may not be a pleasant person, Stark, but I'm an instant star. Just add water and stir. Now, if you'd be so kind, I'd rather like to be released."

"Not so fast." Tony snapped, pressing harder on Loki's throat. "You stay the fuck away from my personal life. Pepper, everything. You don't mean anything to me. Just-" He paused for a moment, noticing Loki's glazed, slightly dilated eyes and shortened breaths. "Of course you're a fucking masochist. Why wouldn't you be?" He let Loki go, slightly unnerved.

Loki inhaled to calm himself. "Not masochism. Sensation. Feeling _something_ instead of numbness. Even if it's being pushed around."

The worst bit was that Tony empathised in every single way with doing stupid things to feel alive. Otherwise he felt so hollow; he had needed the fucking around and drinking before he'd become Iron Man, and now he was a hero he still risked himself for an adrenaline rush. But knowing what Loki meant, knowing that Loki was one of the very few people who knew that feeling - Pepper had never quite grasped it - just made him more annoyed. Because it meant Loki was a lot like him, and if he was, Tony didn't want to look in a mirror.

"Freak. You fuck off and stay there," Tony growled. He tugged his clothes on, gathered his things and stormed out, completely conflicted by what had just happened.


	4. You've Made A Bad Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki apologises, and Tony decides to learn more about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot, this chapter came out almost okay! All cuddly o3o but don't be deceived.
> 
> I've been addicted (again) to the song Breaking Glass from Low while writing this, but hey, insert your own music here.

For whatever reason, Tony was less surprised than he'd imagined he would be when Loki tried to apologise.

This apology came in the form of a text that evening as Tony was preparing to settle in with take-out and another movie, a celebration of his last night in Malibu before he, in Loki's words, went 'slinking back home with your tail between your legs'. His companion was DUM-E, wheeled up from his lab to hold his bottle and keep him company.

His phone vibrated with an unrecognised number. Vaguely he recalled Loki giving him his number, but he'd never put it in his phone.

**I apologise for catalysing the collapse of your relationship; I hope you can salvage it. Would you care to join me for Moscato tonight at my home? - LF**

Tony frowned; catalysing implied it was already going to happen, it just needed a push. Though Loki was no scientist.

 **Depends. Anyone else going to be there?** Tony replied after a few minutes, not wanting to seem overly enthused.

**Three French hens. - LF**

**What?** Tony texted, completely lost. Loki didn't seem the type to refer to women as 'hens'.

**Two turtle doves. - LF**

**And a partridge in a pear tree. - LF**

**I'm taking that as a no.**

**If you're not going to bring your brain, I'd say don't come. - LF**

Tony rolled his eyes. Even while trying to be apologetic, Loki was an ass.

But was he sorry? Everything about Loki suggested he was remorseless and manipulative. Maybe he just wanted a solid public standing with Tony Stark. Maybe he wanted to fuck. Maybe he wanted to kill Tony and steal his identity. Motives aside, Tony wasn't sure whether or not to go.

Eventually he decided a straight conversation with Loki, while he wasn't drunk and Loki wasn't high on whatever he'd taken on two previous nights, could be rather pleasant. Better conversation than DUM-E (and if Tony was being honest, he was a little lonely). Loki was clearly highly intelligent and quirkily different, and Tony needed a bit of that. And Tony wanted to learn something about Loki - after all, he knew absolutely nothing, and Wikipedia provided less than you'd think.

**Never fear, brain and I will both attend.**

**7pm. See you then. - LF.**

That gave Tony just over an hour to clean himself up.

Some masochistic part of Tony's brain knew that drinking with the guy he'd tumbled into bed with twice already was possibly a bad idea, associating with someone who was seemingly ruthless and sociopathic was probably a bad idea, and doing anything with the same Loki Feison Pepper now loathed was definitely a bad idea. This part was not very loud and therefore was ignored by the rest of Tony.

While he took a shower and donned a tidy suit to make the situation a little more formal, Tony asked JARVIS to gather information on Loki Feison, or Lucas Laufeysson (he was right, it didn't sound as good), whichever revealed more, and summarise it for him.

When he was clean and tidy, he sat on the couch, and got JARVIS's report.

"Loki Feison, born Lucas Laufeysson in London in the April of 1980. True parentage unknown. Adopted by Odin Burison-"

"Wait, what? Odin Burison?" Tony said in disbelief. Loki was the adopted kid of some old politician?

"Adopted by Odin Burison. History unknown until university - having reverted to his birth name, Lucas Laufeysson studied in science, majoring in psychology, and went on to achieve a Master's degree of psychology, with first honours. Post graduation, he attended London's Guildhall School of Music and Drama, where he adopted his stage name Loki Feison-"

"That's enough, JARVIS. I was just wondering about his early stuff. Thanks," Tony said. That had literally told him fuck all about Loki's past. Except that he'd done extensive studies in psychology. Probably explained how he crawled into people's heads like he did.

"You're welcome, sir. Might I point out that accepting Loki's invitation is likely to put you at odds with Miss Potts?" JARVIS said.

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her, Jay," Tony shrugged.

-O.O-

Loki looked genuinely pleased to see Tony when he arrived. He invited him in and vanished to the kitchen for a moment to come back with the Moscato he'd promised.

"Sit," Loki said, gesturing at the couch.

Awkwardly, Tony did. Loki himself splayed across an armchair, feet over the armrest, all without spilling a drop of white wine. Graceful.

"Drink, Stark. Bloody hell, do I need to order you to do everything today?" Loki said with an eye roll.

"I thought you didn't drink," Tony frowned.

"I wasn't planning to drink it," Loki shrugged. "I might set it on fire later."

"This is good wine," Tony appraised after a sip. "You shouldn't burn it."

"I do what I want," Loki smirked.

"Yeah, I noticed," Tony said. "So why did you invite me here?"

"I was bored and you're entertaining," Loki deadpanned.

That confused Tony, especially seeing as Loki kept saying it. He didn't feel like he'd done anything more interesting than anyone else in the last short time they'd known each other, which made Tony suspicious that Loki was weirdly entertained by something he was doing, not something he'd said. Instead of voicing those doubts, he just said "You're always fucking bored."

"That I am," Loki agreed, sipping cautiously at his wine before making a face and putting the glass on the coffee table. "How you sustain alcoholism when it tastes like bile, I have no idea."

Tony took a drink. "It tastes fine. And I'm not an alcoholic."

"I wholeheartedly disagree on both counts. Remember, Stark, the first step to overcoming your problem is admitting you have one," Loki replied dryly.

Suddenly Tony didn't feel like coming here had been a good idea. Loki wanted to be entertained, and he probably would do it in the same way a cat would be entertained by a mouse. Tony didn't like to be the mouse; he liked cats a lot.

"What about you and your little pill habit, huh? We're not all innocents here," Tony countered.

"Oh, you're finally _playing,"_ Loki said with a feral grin. "For a start, it's not a habit. I take what is offered. And, Mr Stark, you can't say you were any better when you were my age."

"How old do you think I am? I was your age two years ago!" Tony snapped.

"You can't say you were any better two years ago, then," Loki acquiesced.

Tony had to admit, Loki had a point there. "Yeah, well, shit happened and I'm a better person for it."

Loki sat up suddenly like a viper about to strike. "Are you? Are you happier? What constitutes being a _better person?"_

"Shut up, Feison. You don't know anything about what happened," Tony snapped, body language becoming more aggressive.

"Oh, but I do," Loki grinned. "Traumatic event, clearly, and related to both the machine in your chest and you becoming Iron Man. Afghanistan, obviously. What happened is you grew a _conscience._ Being guilty won't make you happy, but it will make you feel as though you could be happy if you rectified your mistakes. False hope."

"Fuck you and your psychology degree," Tony growled.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you finally looked me up? It took long enough."

"You're acting like I'm interested in your life," Tony rebutted.

"You are. Otherwise you wouldn't be here," Loki said. "Now, I think we both want information from each other - you want to understand my attitude, correct? You think there would be some traumatic incident in my past that made me who I am, and you could cure me?" That wasn't exactly what Tony had been thinking, but now he thought about it, it had been a suspicion of his. Loki evidently read it on his face. "That sounds like the plot of _Letters To My Past_. I'm simply self-aware. Now, Stark, tell me what PTSD-triggering event drove you from New York to Malibu?"

It was like a punch in the stomach, being reminded of Loki's intelligence. The thought had thrown itself into Tony's minds innumerable times as of late. "Holy shit, Lukey boy. You're a real brain box, aren't you?"

"If you refer to me by my birth name again the authorities will never find your corpse. Answer the question," Loki deadpanned.

"If you call me Stark instead of Tony again the authorities will spend hours picking up the little pieces of yours," Tony rebutted.

Loki snorted, genuinely amused, settling back in his chair. "You wish, Stark. I could take you easily. Answer the question."

"Hell, no. For all I know you're one of those gossipy bitchy women. With a flat chest," Tony replied.

"Stark, my tiny billionaire, you read up on my past. I'm a psychologist - granted, I never went into practice. One of my submissions for my final papers was on the effects of post-traumatic stress syndrome on non-combative battle survivors. This is pure professional curiosity," Loki soothed.

"You're not a psychologist," Tony pouted. "You're too crazy."

"Every madman believes himself sane," Loki smirked. "Who's to say you're any better?"

Of all the things Loki could've said, for some reason, that one was effective. Because Tony was quietly crazy in his own way. "Don't tell anyone," He sighed.

"My lips are sealed," Loki mimed zipping his lips.

"That'll be the day," Tony muttered, before speaking up. "There was this kid. Wearing an Iron Man shirt..."

Tony blurted out the story in a rush, fortified by three or four glasses of wine, determined to not break down and act stoic. Loki was a great listener, commenting at the right moments, never appearing judgemental - or bored, which was a break from tradition - and waiting until the end to speak properly. By the end, Tony felt wrung out, but a lot better. And drunk. Oops.

Loki made sure he was finished before speaking gently. "I don't believe your associates truly understand the mental strain you're under. Hawkeye, Lady Widow, your nation's Captain -" Tony hadn't told Loki their real names - "They are trained operatives. The Hulk has no control over his actions. Miss Potts is not an Avenger. In short, you are easily the most emotionally targetable in your Avengers. You are, quite simply, incredibly resilient to continue working under your conditions."

For the hundredth time in the last few hours, Tony felt weirded out by Loki. How well he understood. "Thank you," Tony said flatly.

"I'm not a kind man, nor am I prone to pandering. I mean what I say. Well done, Anthony Stark, for not telling SHIELD to go fuck themselves," Loki continued. "I have no doubt I would not have lasted a fraction of this time."

Something warm bloomed in Tony's chest quite apart from the Moscato. "Yeah, probably not," He chuckled, feeling properly comfortable. "Hell, I'm surprised I've put up with it this long."

Loki wriggled around a bit. "Commendable. Why is this armchair in my house? I never sit in it. It's extremely uncomfortable."

"I don't know. There's art all over my house and it just looks like blobs and lines and stuff. Comtemporary," Tony snorted.

"Perhaps you're missing the deeper meaning?" Loki suggested. "Fuck it, I'm moving onto your couch. Sit up." Tony scrambled over and Loki planted himself on the couch. "Well, Stark, you answered my question, so I'll answer yours."

Tony thought for a minute. "Who're your parents?"

"Fuck knows," Loki sighed. "I have a last name and nothing else. Immigrants, I suppose."

"Oh," Tony said, patting Loki's leg absentmindedly before reaching over to grab the Moscato and pour himself another drink. "That sucks. Not even from adoption records?"

"They were not correctly filled out, and left me no way to trace them. My adopted parents - or my father, to be precise - did not quite assimilate me into their family. Their biological son came first. I never knew why they treated me differently; I was, after all, adopted as an infant."

"Fuck, that double-sucks," Tony said sympathetically. "Hey, daddy issues, you've come to the right guy."

"The legacy of your father attempts to paint him as a patriotic, caring man. I always did wonder how true it was," Loki mused.

"Patriotic? Sure, why not?" Tony spat. "Caring, he didn't care for me, or my mother."

"Parents," Loki sighed. "Who needs them?"

"Normal people. Not us, I guess. You know, my dad left me a video? For after he died. Told me I was his 'greatest creation'. Not a great son, not a good man, but _probably_ one of the best things he built, patented and sold to the public," Tony said, feeling miserable again. Emotional rollercoaster. Like being hormonal without the hormones.

"Jargon," Loki reasoned. "It was a compliment, but when faced with complex emotional situations, one tends to fall back on what one knows. Likely he just found expressing himself difficult and slipped into using jargon to describe you."

"It's a nice thought, but I doubt it," Tony shrugged.

"People might tell you I'm a pessimist, Stark, but they're wrong; I'm a realist. That's my opinion, not a childish attempt to make you feel better," Loki insisted.

"I think you're the first person in a while that hasn't bullshitted me," Tony replied.

"That wouldn't surprise me," Loki admitted. "Humanity likes its deceptions."

"What, so you're not human?" Tony laughed.

"Did I say I didn't enjoy deceptions?" Loki grinned. "Manipulating people and fucking, Stark, it's what I told you."

"Eh. Switch out the creepy manipulation thing for engineering and you've got me," Tony said.

"They're the same thing. I tinker with people's heads, you tinker with machines. We're very alike," Loki pointed out.

Tony felt that as truth; and he also felt happy, right here, right now, with someone who actually understood him. Tomorrow he would be mistaken, used and reprimanded; today he could settle for a moment's peace of mind with Loki Feison.

He suddenly realised how close they were. They'd started at opposite edges of the couch, and now they'd gravitated together in the middle.

"Yeah," Tony said, looking Loki in the eyes, his mouth dry. It wasn't his most intelligent statement, but he was preoccupied with the thought of this beautiful, intelligent creature's eyes dilating slightly with lust.

In a moment, Tony had started the kiss, leaning forward a bit to press his mouth to Loki's. The low, needy noise in Loki's throat was more than enough to convince Tony that this was a good idea.

 _"Tony,"_ Loki whimpered quietly. It struck Tony as the first time his first name had passed those lips unaccompanied by his last.  
It also struck Tony that despite Tony's intentions to learn more about Loki, Loki had practically talked Tony's whole life story out of him and given little in return.

Who cared? He was going to get laid, by the looks of things.

Still kissing Tony, Loki swung a leg over his to straddle him and get as close as possible, hands fisting in Tony's lapels as his tongue slid into the other man's mouth.

Unlike the previous times they'd been intimate, Tony allowed himself to explore. His strong hands roamed down Loki's back, feeling slender, developed muscles, down to the dimples on his lower back and then his ass, perfectly shaped. A light squeeze there had Loki choking out a little chuckle.

Continuing, Tony brought his hands around to Loki's front, teasingly grazing the insides of his lover's slender thighs before swooping his hands up to Loki's skinny waist, past his chest to start furiously undoing his tie and unbuttoning his jacket and shirt. He wanted his hands on Loki's skin, now.

After freeing Loki's pale chest to the mood lighting, Tony broke the kiss to suck and nip against Loki's neck.

"Oh, _fuck,_ that's a good spot," Loki groaned as Tony found a soft spot on his collarbone.

"I aim to please," Tony grinned, laving his tongue over the spot a few more times before moving down to Loki's nipple and biting down a little, testing Loki's pain kink.

The noise Loki made had Tony's crotch constricting almost painfully. It was half yelp and half moan; the twist of his hips that accompanied it brushed their crotches together, giving Tony a jolt of pleasure.

It was pretty clear Loki felt the same way, because his hands gripped the back of the couch so he could grind down again, finding a rhythm and losing himself in it for a moment.

Tony wrapped Loki's black hair around his hand and tugged his head up, bringing him into a messy kiss, the taller man pushing into it relentlessly, his tongue sliding slick past Tony's.

"You need to get naked. Like, now," Tony gasped, pulling away from the kiss as Loki rubbed his hard cock into Tony's pants a little rougher. He needed this; Tony wanted to be closer to Loki, damn the consequences.

"Mm, good idea," Loki chuckled, mouth ghosting over Tony's jaw as he undid his own shirt and cast it off.

With a pleased noise, Tony brought his hands to Loki's chest, getting his fingers into lean muscle, feeling the petal-soft skin under his comparatively rough fingers. He pressed his mouth to Loki's collarbone, showering it with kisses, trying to keep Loki as close to him as possible.

As the rest of their clothing went the way of Loki's shirt, Tony felt good. Loki didn't think he was weak for mourning one child in a sea of others; Loki understood the ever-pressing boredom of life; Loki was beautiful, smart, and oh-so-talented, and grinding his now bare cock against Tony's. The flashes of hot, burning pleasure from the friction on his erection just added to the brilliance of the moment.

Maybe the fact that Tony was drunk for the fifth night in a row was affecting him and making him overly poetic, but the point still stood.

Tony could feel tension building low in his abdomen as Loki purposefully rubbed off against him. He didn't want to come this quickly. "Lo', I need m-more than this," He mumbled.

"Just - let me-" Loki gasped, leaning over to the coffee table behind him in a surprising display of flexibility to pull lube from a drawer and give it to Tony. "Here."

"Of course you have lube in your coffee table," Tony laughed, opening the bottle and tipping a little onto his hand.

"Stark, to put it bluntly, I've fucked and been fucked by an obscene number of people in every room in this house. Of course I have lubricant readily available," Loki replied haughtily, humping back onto the finger pressing into his ass. "Faster, _gods,"_ He grunted.

Tony pressed two fingers deep, loving Loki's moan and the clenching warmth around his fingers, feeling light-headed at the thought of his cock surrounded by that heat. Dubbing Loki ready, he slicked himself, and tried to push Loki down onto his back on the sofa.

Loki pushed back with a startling amount of strength only hinted at by his lithe frame.

"One day," Tony pouted breathlessly. "I'll get to be on top."

"I very much doubt that," Loki smirked, stroking Tony for a moment before holding his cock steady to sink down on it, his expression melting into one of ecstasy.

Tony's arms wrapped around Loki, one on his ass, the other around his chest, enjoying the warm pleasure, kissing and sucking at Loki's neck. After a moment of adjustment, he used his grip to lift Loki, beginning the rise and fall.

One of Loki's hands fisted in Tony's hair as his breath got shorter, punched out of him by the insistent thrusts nudging his prostate. "Yes, there, _Tony,"_ He panted roughly, keeping that pace for a few minutes as his gasps turned into high whines.

Sensing how close Loki was to the edge, Tony slipped a hand between them, and in a few short strokes Loki's come was streaking their chests. Loki intentionally clenched down, making Tony swear and eventually follow him into orgasm.

After their breathing recovered, Tony pulled Loki into a gentle, soft kiss, no teeth, all lips and gentleness. "Shit, you're good at this."

"Practice makes perfect," Loki chuckled, making no effort to move from his position.

Tony felt good, calm and warm and sated. But the thought of being happy and companionable after sex brought his girlfriend into his thoughts, and Pepper in his mind had Tony reaching over and sculling a decent amount of the new bottle of wine Loki had produced from seemingly nowhere. He needed to be drunker, now.

Loki shifted awkwardly, slightly oversensitive, which sent another bolt of arousal down to Tony's groin. Then he started to laugh quietly to himself.

"What's so funny?" Tony grumbled.

Loki giggled agains, before winking at him mischieviously. "Personal joke. Never you mind, Stark."

Knowing he wouldn't get it out of Loki, Tony just took another drink and then kissed Loki again, rocking his hips in hope of another round.


	5. But Since He Pinned You Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony meets with the Avengers, and learns a lot about who Loki actually is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly sorry. But Cracked Actor is not a happy song and this is not a happy story. It was always going to go like this.
> 
> And I know there's no musical about 1984, but a girl can dream, right?
> 
> I wasn't expecting to update quickly, but honestly I'm all inspired for this story, so it just poured out.

> _Heathenism is a state of mind. You can take it that I'm referring to one who does not see his world. He has no mental light. He destroys almost unwittingly. He cannot feel any Gods presence in his life. He is the 21st century man._
> 
> \- David Bowie

* * *

Tony said his goodbyes to Loki in the morning, hungover for the millionth time in a row and feeling rather awkward at just using his shower and abandoning him. He wanted to stay, but he couldn't.

In a break from tradition, he decided to travel by public airplane. Usually he'd just take his private jet, but having been surrounded purely by Loki and Hollywood's most debauched for the last while, he decided that reestablishing standard human contact couldn't be a bad thing.

So here he was, lounging in first class for the short flight, waiting for everyone to board.

The man in the luxurious chair to his left was tapped on the shoulder.

"Hi!" said the tappee, a fairly petite woman with curly dark hair, full red lips, glasses and - Tony had to notice - large breasts. "Can I switch seats with you and sit there? The guy next to you's a friend."

"Wait, what?" Tony spluttered. "Do I know you?"

"You should," The woman snickered. "Please?" She employed her best puppy-dog eyes, big wet brown irises glittering.

The guy clearly couldn't stand up to the woman's adorableness, so he reluctantly got up and walked to her seat three rows back.

"Hey!" The woman said, reaching over the wide aisle to shake Tony's hand. "I'm Darcy. Darcy Lewis."

"Oh!" Tony said in sudden recognition. "You're that actress. The one on that sitcom Pepper likes."

 _"Two Broke Girls?"_ Darcy asked, and Tony nodded. "Oh, yeah. That's fun. But I'm here to talk 'bout something else."

Tony must have looked confused. "Did I sleep with you or something?"

"Probably. Hey, I don't remember. But it's about Loki. It was you with his tongue in your mouth the other night, right?" Darcy asked.

Actually feeling embarrassed, Tony replied "Er, yeah. Why?"

"Anything serious?"

"No! No, I left him behind. I'm done with him," Tony said, not sure if he was telling the truth.

"Good," Darcy said thoughtfully. "I mean, bad, maybe, but he's not going to be good for you."

Tony narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What have you got against Loki?"

Darcy held up her hands defensively. "Nothing, I promise! I just know the guy, okay? I mean, I tased his brother once, when he started dating my friend. I'd consider him a friend, inasmuch as anyone is his friend, and, just, thinking you can get close to him by starting with the dick first really doesn't work."

A surge of defensiveness had Tony snapping "How would you know?" even though the answer was obvious.

Darcy bit her lip. "I know. See, two or maybe three years ago, Lokes was filming a movie down south. He was great in the role, but I can't remember what the movie was called right now. Anyway, as you probably know, he's a promiscuous little fucker, and he had an affair with his leading lady, which surprised no one. You following?"

Tony nodded. "I've seen that in him, yeah."

"And I lied. It did surprise someone. Her boyfriend in set design, who, coincidentally, was also having an affair with Loki, though his had been going on since day two of filming. But no one added the two things together, so Loki basically tipped off both sides to watch them fight. He knew it would be complicated, because they'd both done the same thing wrong. It was messy - the argument actually stopped filming for a few days, the couple broke up, the boyfriend was fired, and you know what Loki did?"

Intrigued, Tony just said "What?"

"He _laughed._ I've never seen him laugh so hard. He never really smiled around either of his lovers, but once they came to blows, he was grinning like a madman all day, every day." Darcy said flatly.

"What!" Tony said in disbelief. "Why?"

Darcy shrugged. "Fucked if I know. He likes chaos, I guess. I think that destruction meant more to him than either of his lovers did."

Tony narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You hear a lot of that kind of shit in the fame game, though. Doesn't mean it's true."

"It felt pretty real when my boyfriend was calling me a dirty bitch," Darcy said, tone wry.

The penny dropped for Tony. "Oh."

"Yeah," Darcy laughed bitterly. "I mean, I barely know you apart from what I've seen on TV, but yeah, keep yourself out of his way when he feels like breaking someone."

"He said he likes manipulating people and fucking..." Tony said absently.

"Well, yeah. You know he trained as a psychologist, right?" Darcy asked.

"Yeah..."

"Can you imagine him as one?"

"No. Not at all. He hates people," Tony decided.

"Exactly. I think he did it cause he can, like, read minds, but he realised that he didn't want to help people," Darcy laughed. "Don't get me wrong, I like the guy, always have; I mean, that's pretty obvious. But he's a cruel man when he wants to be."

"Better hope he doesn't want to be cruel then," Tony said uncomfortably.

All this information about Loki, someone who - when he put his mind to it - he really barely knew, was scaring Tony. He'd poured his heart out to the man.

But on further revision, he wasn't too worried. It wasn't like Loki had jerked him around, or even seemed particularly interested in his seperation with Pep. He'd been interested in the kid thing, but it did seem more like a psychological analysis than anything sinister, and on the whole he'd been coolly supportive.

If Tony had actually allowed himself to consider the idea of a knife being plunged into his back - which he wasn't going to do, because honestly the thought of yet another betrayal was one he couldn't handle - then he'd think of Loki grinning at Pepper shouting at him, Loki wanting to know what hurt him, or Loki's apparent lack of emotions - except when he was needing to act them out. It was a scary thought, and it had to be shoved away.

All roads led to changing the subject. "So why're you coming to NY?"

Darcy raised an eyebrow. "Auditioning for a part in the planned musical, _1984_. I'm going for the role of Julia. I'm surprised you didn't know; I heard Loki was going for Winston Smith, so it's a bit odd he didn't come up with you."

Tony quickly hid his shock by saying "Loki doesn't look like that guy at all."

"You'd be impressed how different Loki can look with a spot of make-up," Darcy explained. "And he's got the voice for a lead role. You heard him sing?"

"On _Letters To My Past,_ yeah," Tony replied.

"Ugh, that movie. But he sounds like an angel choir when he hits a high note."

-O.O-

After the awkwardness of their first subject, Tony thoroughly enjoyed talking to Darcy for the rest of the relatively short flight. When they parted at the airport, Tony promised to visit her at the auditions, and Loki too if he was there. If he wasn't in one shaky relationship, and sort-of in a _thing_ with Loki at the same time, then he'd definitely be all over her.

Following a brief chaffeur ride with Happy - who warned Tony in no uncertain terms that Pepper wanted to strangle him and everything he stood for - he was at Stark Tower.

He stepped through the lobby, into the elevator, and pressed the button for the Avengers' living room, bracing himself.

The last he'd seen or heard of any of them was during his little intervention. He'd been blatantly unpleasant to all of them, almost cruel to Pepper, and drunk. In a mean way. He'd locked himself away, and when he was sure they'd gone, he'd packed some stuff and just left. In the dead of night. In a taxi, so not even Happy knew what had happened. They'd been so worried until JARVIS had finally given in and let them know he was safe in Malibu.

Now it was just over a week later, and he was back again.

The doors slid back too soon. Tony wanted to stay in the elevator; he didn't feel comfortable with the Avengers, he was scared of Pepper, he was suspicious of Loki. But he had to do this. The sooner he did, the sooner everything could be back to normal.   
Only Clint and Bruce were in the living area, thoughtfully playing a card game.

Clint saw him first. "Tony! You're back!"

"Looks like it," Tony said, trying to sound perky.

Bruce smiled peacefully. "Never quite the same without you."

Okay, maybe it wasn't as difficult as he'd imagined.

"Aw, Bruce, you're so sweet," Tony grinned.

"You okay now?" Clint asked.

"I've been better, Merida," Tony admitted. "But I've been worse too."

"Glad to hear it, man," Clint replied. "I'm sorry for not being as helpful as I could've been."

"No, you were right," Tony said, not sure if he was telling the truth. There'd been so much of that recently. "I'm sorry too, as much as it pains me to admit it."

"It's not Clint you need to be apologising to," Bruce winced. "Pepper went spare when she saw that photo of you and the actor guy. Seriously, I've never been that angry, and I'm, well, me."

Tony swallowed, his throat suddenly very, very dry. "Uh, yeah."

"Did you actually sleep with him?" Clint asked eagerly.

It was then that Tony realised that the most evidence anyone had was an incriminating photo and the known fact that Loki had been in Tony's room. He could lie his ass off and decapitate Loki if he tried to say anything different. Plus, Loki didn't seem overly fazed with throwing the information to the public.

"No. It looks bad, but it's just crap luck," Tony lied smoothly. "Loki - Loki Feison, the actor - did kiss me, yeah, and he'd been taking some shit passed around in a pill box. So, being a nice guy, I rented a hotel room and we slept there. I was way too drunk to get home anyway, so it was probably the best thing to do."

"Really," Clint said disbelievingly. "Nothing? No hanky-panky? No hands in forbidden places?"

 _It wasn't a hand._ "Nope. He's a weird guy, he'd've been all for it, but he could barely walk. Soon as his head touched the pillow he was out like a light. I had to take his shoes off," Tony put on a pained expression with the last sentence.

"I guess it's not me you have to convince," Clint shrugged. "How'd you meet the guy anyway? He was in that thing, the one with the gods and such, wasn't he?"

"I don't know 'bout gods, but I got bored and went out to a party thing in his honour. He started talking and I started talking over him, and yeah, here we are," Tony lied again.

_I'm going to hell for this._

"It's good you're making some new friends, Tony," Bruce said reasonably. "But next time you feel the need to go to Malibu, can you let us know? We were all worried."

"Sure, Bruce," Tony smiled. "Thanks, guys. Where're the others?"

"Tasha's meeting with Fury. Steve's wherever Steve is," Clint said helpfully.

"And Pep?" Tony said, fearing the answer.

"Doing her job, I guess. She's been working late recently," Clint said.

"I bet she has," Tony said miserably. "I'm going to die, aren't I?"

Bruce and Clint both nodded. "At least your couch is comfy," Clint said dryly.

-O.O-

Pepper didn't come in until about 6 or 7 o'clock, and when she did, she brushed past Tony to collect her Clint-cooked meal before she even looked at him.

"Hey, Pep," Tony said awkwardly as she efficiently chopped her beans.

"Tony," She said icily.

"Pepper, I'm really sorry. It wasn't what it looked like and I should've called and please, _please_ don't leave me," He blurted.

Pepper almost growled. "It's been _nine days,_ and you've talked to me _once_. You left in the middle of the night, you didn't tell anyone, we were thinking you were kidnapped til JARVIS told us where you'd gone, then you wouldn't pick up the phone, and when you did, it was because you'd been fucking around with that Hollywood _whore."_ It was a definite warning sign, when Pepper used coarse language. Like the beeping before a bomb went off. "'It wasn't what it looked like.' Oh, of course, like no guy's ever said that before!"

"It honestly wasn't," Tony said quickly. "He was stoned on something. We kissed once. Then we slept in a hotel room - I was drunk. Nothing more."

Pepper narrowed her eyes. "To tell the truth, Tony, I can't think of why I should believe you."

"Because I made a stupid mistake - lots of them, actually - and I'm sorry," Tony said pleadingly.

With a thinning of her lips, Pepper fell silent and returned to her dinner, eating with perhaps more aggression than completely necessary.

The other members of the team, hiding in the kitchen, slunk forward to regain their positions on the couch.

Heart pounding in his chest, Tony pondered his life. Did he want Pepper back? Of course he did; she kept him steady, kept him sane. But that wasn't any emotional reason, it was him saying why she made him better.

_Are you? Are you happier? What constitutes being a better person?_

_Fuck's sakes, Loki, get out of my head!_

Suddenly Tony didn't feel like eating. The dark-haired man in his head wouldn't leave him alone.

He picked at his food edgily, finally quietly saying "I'm really sorry," again.

Pepper raised her head, about to speak, when her phone buzzed. She tugged it out of her suit pocket, looking at the screen. "Voice message," she explained as she left the room.

Finally accepting he wasn't going to eat, Tony placed his plate to the side and ran calculations through his head as he waited on a knife-edge.

She didn't come back for a long time. Tony tried to unwind a little, talking to the others, who were taking bets on whether or not his ass was getting dumped.

The general consensus was yes.

After quarter of an hour, in which Tony was getting more and more worried, JARVIS finally spoke up. "Sir, Miss Potts is requesting for you to join her in the computer lab."

Filled with apprehension, Tony climbed to his feet. Do or die. But if he did he might die anyway.

Pepper raised her head when he entered the room; her mascara was messy and streaked with tears. "What the _fuck_ is wrong with you, Tony?"

"Wha...?" Tony said, completely confused. He couldn't tell if Pepper was blindingly angry or horrifyingly upset.

She looked at him like she just couldn't believe him. Then she grabbed her phone off the table beside her and tapped the screen to play the message.

It started off with a moment's crackle.

Then Loki's accented voice, murmuring _"Say it again."_

Tony was starting to feel sick. He didn't remember this. He shouldn't have drank anything around Loki. He shouldn't have agreed to spent the evening with him.

"I love you, Looooooki," Tony's voice giggled from the phone.

Both people in the room knew that voice. It was slightly hoarse and slurred, meaning both fucked-out and drunk. It had to have happened last night, and last night Tony was emotionally wrung out and needing some closeness. So Pepper knew that Tony had slept with Loki, knew that they'd been more than casual acquaintances.

On the recording, Loki made an approving purr, then there was a tiny _click_ as the recording ended. The room was so silent, a fly rubbing its legs could've been heard.

Pepper's breath hitched in a tiny sob. There wasn't a single thing that he could say that could save this moment, take back the lies.

His phone buzzed.

**Backstage Belasco Theatre NY, 2pm tomorrow. - LF**

For a moment, Tony felt like a blood vessel had burst in his brain, white hot rage blossoming through his skull. He did want to meet Loki tomorrow. Mostly to punch his skull in.

But hey, at least Darcy had warned him.


	6. I'm Stiff On My Legend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony can't help himself; he has to see Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mm. Well, enjoy yourself.  
> And let's face it; Sweet Thing has a glorious vocal range. Admit it.

In his life, Tony had been angry a lot. In Afghanistan, at Obie, at Hammer, at Vanko, at his engineering lecturer, at his father (a lot), and first and foremostly, at himself. Hell, he deserved it. Look up his past on Wikipedia and you'd agree.

But he didn't think he'd ever been angry like this before.

In his life, Tony had been betrayed and let down a lot. By Obie, by his father, by everyone, really, in the end. Even the Avengers hadn't come through for him. Hell, even that policeman that had run away. He didn't trust people easily. And he'd let Loki in, only to be hurt worse than ever.

Because after his conversation with Darcy, Tony didn't have much of a doubt that his time with Loki Feison, particularly the emotional conversation then the (what could only be named as) making love on the couch of the previous night, had been Loki lying through his perfectly straight, white teeth.

However, the tiny optimist part of Tony's brain that had been kicked in the balls repeatedly by life was still trying to pipe up its shrill voice and say some of it had been true. Some. Maybe. Maybe Loki did care and he was scared of getting attached.

Haha.

After Pepper had received the message and they'd both heard it, Tony had vomited apologies and explanations and lies and a slew of vitriol directed at Loki. None of which had gained him any traction with Pepper, who'd left to go stay in a hotel that night.

Tony fully intended to keep his appointment with Loki. He'd woken up in the morning with yet another hangover from drinking himself to sleep, thrown up, and looked at himself in the mirror.

There he saw a middle-aged man, with a beard in need of trimming and bloodshot eyes. And he wasn't happy with who he saw there. Even less so when he remembered he was supposed to be one of the smartest people on Earth and Loki had played him like a clarinet.

Remembering the meaning of 'learning to play the clarinet in school', Tony decided it was probably true.

It was a tough call on who he hated more, Loki or himself. "You're an idiot," he told his reflection firmly, before having a shower.

-O.O-

Tony avoided the Avengers as he left the building. They didn't know what had happened. Tony wasn't planning to tell them. Maybe when this was over.

On the very short drive over, Tony pondered his relationship with Pepper.

He'd thought he loved her. Hell, he might have told her that after sex once; he couldn't actually remember. She was his other half, almost literally - the organisation to his chaos, the constant in a sea of variables that was the life of Tony Stark.

But would he have done any of this if he loved her? Yes, he was drunk the first time he slept with Loki (and all subsequent times, on thought) but being drunk doesn't alter your thoughts, it just lowers your inhibitions. So he had wanted to.

Loki was in his head. Loki had crawled into his _fucking_ head and flipped everything, so Tony didn't know right from wrong and truth from lie and what he wanted vs what he needed.

After thinking for a bit, he decided that he wanted Pepper back - in what capacity, he was not sure - and he wanted to punt Loki down a flight of stairs. Then make another attempt at getting a closer look at that singularly fascinating brain. So beatings, and then friendship. The products of a rational mind, clearly.

-O.O-

 _"Like a portrait in flesh, who trails on a leash - will you seeeeeeee-uh! That I'm scared and I'm lonely?"_ Loki sang, his expressive voice holding the high notes beautifully.

"He's an asshole," Tony commented to Darcy from his position backstage. "But he's an asshole who can sing."

Musical auditions were different than a lot of others - in this case, resumes and credentials were sent in beforehand, and then you were asked to come up on stage and do something. Something useful in a musical. Callbacks and actual casting for roles would happen later.

Of the three auditions Tony had seen, Loki's singing was blowing them out of the water.

Darcy laughed. "What happened?"

"Exactly what you said would happen," Tony seethed. "I want to smash his head in."

"As far as I can tell from personal experience," Darcy said dryly "He doesn't care if you beat the stuffing out of him so long as you don't hurt his face and hands. I tased him. He didn't really seem to mind."

"What, it didn't do anything?" Tony asked in surprise.

"Oh, no, it knocked him out for half an hour. But he didn't mind."

Hm. Well, that was something. "He's a bit of a masochist, isn't he?"

"Mm-hm."

On stage, Loki bowed respectfully to the people gathered there, and slunk off the opposite side of the stage to the one Tony and Darcy were standing.

"Where's he going, d'you reckon?" Tony asked.

"Smoke, probably. Try the stairwell," Darcy said. "I'll stay here. I haven't done my bit yet."

"Good luck," Tony smiled.

"Same to you. You're gonna need it more," Darcy laughed. "Don't touch his face! And leave some for me to kick him too!"

Tony grinned at her before weaving into the crowd of people and dropping that smile like a paper bag of dog shit.

After asking a few randoms, he ascertained that Loki was indeed in the stairwell. He opened the emergency exit door to see the slim actor leaning against the walls, gently exhaling smoke and humming.

"Stark," Loki said without looking at him.

"Fucktard," Tony replied.

"That's rather rude." Loki said, his lips quirking into a little cute smile that made Tony want to gather him up and plant kisses all over him.

 _No. Tony. Resist. He's a master at manipulation._ Tony scowled at him, mocking the other man's accent. "It was rather fucking rude of you to send that fucking text to Pepper."

"Well, I suppose it was. Tell me, Stark, what are you going to do about it?" Loki grinned.

Suddenly Tony felt sick to the stomach. Again. Loki wanted attention, he wanted something to do and something to think about, and he didn't really care if he hurt Tony doing it.

Just then, Tony recalled something from his past - some woman on TV, talking about a murder case. Identifying psychopaths vs the curably crazy folk. _Full of himself, slutty, easily bored, no real emotions, no remorse, likes jerking people around, lies for fun, charming, impulsiveness, substance addiction._ Loki was smoking a cigarette right in from of him.

 _Jesus fucking Christ,_ Tony thought, _I'm dealing with a whole new type of crazy._

And then he realised than reasoning with Loki probably wasn't going to take him far, because Loki wasn't going to feel even slightly guilty.

"I want to hurt you," Tony admitted. "But that's what you want?"

"Why would I want that?" Loki said innocently.

"Because you're a psychopath and a masochist," Tony shrugged. "And you'd probably get a hard-on if I punch you in the kidneys."

"Would you care to try?" Loki mocked. "No, I wouldn't imagine so. Talk to me, Stark. Tell me, do you plan to make up with Miss Potts?"

"Don't pull your psychologist crap with me, Loki, it's not going to work."

"If you're not here to talk, and not here to cause a little internal bleeding, then why are you here? To admire my visage? To second-hand smoke yourself?" Loki asked. "Honestly, it's like you came here trying to befriend me after a brief scolding."

 _Oh god, he can read minds_. "Fuck you."

"That's not an answer," Loki's grin was 100% mocking and shit-eating. "Oh, Stark, whe - ah!"

Tony punched him in the face, his tanned fist smacking into Loki's pale cheekbone, snapping the actor's head back and knocking his skull against the wall.

There was a moment of silence, in which the soothing leaf green of Loki's eyes morphed into green fire, scaring Tony.

Then Loki snatched him by the shirt and threw him down the stairs.

Falling down stairs hurts, and Tony felt like every part of his body got stabbed with a blunt edge on the way down, before landing hard on the next landing and cracking the side of his jaw on the concrete. A tooth cracked and blood started to run into his mouth from a gash in his cheek. As Tony tried to regain his senses and get to his feet, there was a light _pat pat pat_ of Loki's leather shoes descending the stairs.

"Did I or did I not fucking tell you to keep your filthy hands off my face?" Loki said conversationally, kicking him in the stomach.

Tony groaned and curled in on himself, blood oozing out his mouth. "Fuck ... off..."

"I'd like to point out that you came to find me in the first place," The shrug was audible in Loki's voice. "Would you like me to call an ambulance?"

"No...Shut up." Tony snarled. He didn't know what he wanted. He'd been warned to not touch Loki's face, so he supposed he could only blame himself. But he wanted -

Fuck, he didn't know. Ideally he'd curl up somewhere and never talk to anyone ever again. It was too _hard,_ being around people. It just hurt. Because Tony couldn't think of anyone he could lean on now. Not Pepper, not any Avenger, not even Happy or Rhodey once they found out what had happened. And not Loki. Loki was crazy.

So Tony could only revert back to how he'd been before he met these people. Alone. It had been less painful that way.

Loki was crouching next to him. When had that happened?

Everything was going blurry.

"Mm, yes, I think an ambulance may be necessary," Loki said.

Tony could sense cigarette smoke and little else.

"...Why?" Tony asked as he was slipping away.

"Because I said so," Loki murmured, gently brushing Tony's hurt jaw. His cool hands felt so good. "Now, Stark, what would Miss Potts say if she knew you'd been coming to see me?"

 _I hate you so much,_ Tony thought as everything faded to black.


	7. Is That All That You Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes up in a hospital and falls asleep alone in a hotel room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which this chapter is late, Tony is being a little masochistic emotionally, and this is a tad fillerish. My apologies on all counts.

Tony woke up in a goddamn hospital.

His whole body felt like it had been melted - unmoveable, liquid and warm.

"They had to sedate you and wire your jaw shut to take x-rays," A voice, probably Darcy's, said. "So yeah, talking's a no."

Forcing his eyes open, Tony realised he was in a hospital room, and Darcy was sitting next to his bed, smiling crookedly. Then she dropped her smile and leaned down to mutter to him "Just roll with the story you fell down the stairs, or Loki'll get arrested for assault."

 _That wouldn't be such a bad thing,_ Tony thought.

"Be right back. Loki told me to tell him when you woke up."

_Loki's here? He stayed here and he's interested in my wellbeing?_

In a minute, the door was opening again to bring just Loki in.

"I have a bruise on my face and an interview on live television in a few days," Loki said tetchily. "Though I don't suppose you're going to apologise."

_Of course I'm not going to apologise, you fucking psycho!_

"In any case, according to your doctor, you have a cracked mandible, concussion, and two stitches on the inside of your cheek, as well as a broken tooth. You really should not have fallen down those stairs."

Tony honestly didn't know if Loki was just working with their cover story, or if Loki was really not connecting action with consequence. He couldn't ask, either, not with this brace on his face.

There wasn't any point in trying to get an apology out of Loki; he wasn't going to regret anything. And he did touch Loki's face. How different would the situation have been if he hadn't done that? Maybe everything would've been fine.

"Your emergency contacts have been notified that you are here," Loki continued.

 _Pepper, Bruce, Happy._ Tony thought. _The first two are going to kill me. Happy's probably all right. Actually, so's Bruce. But Pepper's vengeful enough for the three of them._

"I want to wait here. As you know, I do enjoy a bit of trouble, and Miss Pott's reaction to my presence will be golden," Loki grinned.

Of course, Tony couldn't argue beyond glaring at him.

_You're insane._

Loki got to his feet and walked to the door, letting Darcy back in.

"Hey, Tony, my audition went well. Nearly had a wardrobe malfunction," she laughed, tugging her low shirt into place. "But the auditioners seemed pretty happy."

"Mm, I'd be happy if you had a wardrobing issue in front of me," Loki purred.

_Oh, shut up._

"Bad Loki. No," Darcy scolded.

Loki was being too nice; it was worrying Tony. Maybe there was a tiny chance he felt sorry?

After a few minutes of Darcy and Loki bantering about stage vs movie, there was a knock at the door; a doctor for Tony.

"Mr Stark," She smiled warmly. "You'll be released in a few hours, once we've monitored your concussion and confirmed your injury from the x-rays." Loki shifted out of the way to let her sit down next to the bed. As he did so, the doctor recognised him. "Oh! You're Loki Feison!"

"That I am," Loki nodded. "Continue."

"Mr Stark, you're a lot healthier than you looked when the ambulance picked you up from Belasco. Mr Feison and his companion-"

"Darcy Lewis," Darcy cut in, miffed at not being recognised.

"- Miss Lewis were quite beside themselves after your fall. We've taken x-rays and we're fairly certain you've cracked your jawbone, just where it curves upwards to meet your cranium. We've put two stitches in your mouth, too, so I'd say don't eat anything on that side of your mouth, though I wouldn't think you'd want to, because you've split your lower wisdom tooth in half. Basically, take it easy for a few weeks for your concussion, and be mindful of clenching your jaw or opening your mouth too wide until it stops hurting and your stitches have dissolved. I'd recommend a visit to the dentist, too." After that medical speech, the doctor smiled and asked "Do you have any questions?"

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Sorry!" The doctor laughed, reaching forward to free Tony's head.

"How long 'til I can drink?" Tony asked seriously. He stretched his jaw, feeling a faint aching pain exactly where the doctor had described, but the whole area had been locally numbed.

"Give yourself a couple of days, and not with any painkillers," The doctor replied, smiling. "Now, I'll be back in a couple of hours to give you a proper run-down. I think I can see some visitors for you."

True to form, there was a group of people making their way towards Tony's room. The doctor left just as they came in.

Pepper and Happy came in first. "Oh, Tony," Pepper sighed. "What happened?"

"He struck me in the face, stumbled, and fell down a flight of stairs," Loki deadpanned, making Pepper jump at the unexpected voice. "It was actually rather funny."

"Let me guess. You're Loki Feison, and Tony went to see you yesterday because he was lying when he apologised to me?" Pepper said acidly. No sympathy for the rather lovely purple bruise across Loki's cheekbone, then.

"He was coming to see me, not Loki, Miss Potts," Darcy interjected. "We met on the plane up here."

"Oh my god, you're Darcy Lewis," Pepper realised.

 _"Two Broke Girls._ Tony said you liked it," Darcy said warmly.

 _Darcy, you are a perfect human being and I love you,_ Tony thought. _Wait, no. Saying those three words is what got me into this mess._

Pepper then seemed to realise that Darcy was trying to assuage her anger. She turned back to Loki and glared. "What do you mean, Tony falling down the stairs was _funny?_ He could've been killed! Who do you think you are?"

"Mm. Loki Feison, 32, Englishman, actor," Loki said, all wide eyes and innocence. "Delighted to make your acquiantance. I've heard _so_ much about you."

Tony wanted to tell him to shut up, but it wouldn't have gotten him anywhere with either of them.

"I bet you have," Pepper hissed.

Tony could see this all from her perspective. She'd watched him cheat on her, try to apologise, beg for her back, and then land himself in hospital with the same man he'd cheated on her with. And now the same man was sassing her.

She deserved to be angry, and Tony felt terrible.

He didn't deserve someone as amazing as her. But he deserved someone as cruel and crazy as the dark-haired man currently giving the tiniest of smirks at her.

"Please don't fight," Tony croaked.

Pepper's glare shifted to him. "I wasn't going to, Tony. Honestly, I thought you were better than all this when we got together. But you're not even good enough for me to fight this bastard for you."

 _She's right. I fucked up big time,_  Tony thought miserably, nodding in agreement.

Pepper shot one more contemptuous look at both Tony and Loki before saying "Happy, take me back to the hotel," and leaving.

Loki flopped back down in his chair and said "That was considerably less entertaining than I imagined."

"Shut the fuck up," Tony snarled.

"You keep saying that and you never enforce it," Loki said cheerily.

"Loki, stop being a douche," Darcy growled. "And get out before Tony's real friends come in. Or they'll probably murder you."

"But _mother."_ Loki whined sarcastically.

"For the love of all that's holy, Loki, just stop being an asshole for once in your life and leave this room," Darcy snapped.

Most likely, Loki only left because he knew he wasn't going to be able to talk to them while they wanted him gone. But he did leave.

"How do you do it, Darcy? How are you his friend?" Tony sighed. "After everything he did to you."

Darcy shrugged. "I like him, when he's being a good boy. When he's not, well... my trick is to make sure he has no leverage over me."

That was where Tony had gone wrong; he'd let Loki in too close. Loki liked to tinker and break people's heads, but if you didn't give him anything to work with, well, it was like taking Tony's tools off him.

Because Tony wanted Loki. He shouldn't, not at all - Loki was poison and fire and danger. But Tony deserved someone as messed up as him, and it didn't take an idiot to see that Loki was a genius. More than. Rather than be taken apart, Tony wanted to have a look at what happened in Loki's brain.

Like when Rhodey had jokingly given him a wooden puzzle that made little sense and was supposed to be almost unsolvable. It had resisted his efforts thoroughly until he'd suddenly had an epiphany, and was now pride of place on a shelf in his bedroom.

All in all, Tony wanted to crack Loki open and then leave him somewhere in his bedroom too.

But he wasn't going to. Unlike Loki, he'd hung up his hedonistic ways, and Tony would be better off trying to put his life together. Loki was poison, he had to remember that.

Fury and Hill were the next to come in, both with their secret agent stern faces.

"Mr Stark," Fury started, sounding warningly enthusiastic. "I've come to inform you that owing to your recent antics, including going incommunicado for over a week and not answering a callout which caused the destruction of a section of New Jersey, you are temporarily suspended from the Avengers."

Tony was overtaken by a flare of anger. "And let me guess. You'll keep using my tower free of charge and leeching my bank account."

 _"Temporary,_ Mr Stark," Fury said with a wicked little smile that suited him a little too well. "So of course we will. You suspension will be lifted when Hill, Sitwell and myself deem it appropriate."

Then he left. Asshole. Tony said as much to his retreating back.

For the first time in a while, Tony thought of the bloody t-shirt.

_Maybe I don't need Iron Man. I used to, but now it just hurts. Like everything else._

After that, Steve and Bruce came in and talked, followed by Clint and Natasha.

Their opinions were unanimous. Tony was a fucking idiot. And neither Bruce nor Natasha believed for a second that Tony fell, and both asked him if he was okay with Loki.

Darcy promised to look out for him, and Tony felt all warm because of it.

From what he could tell, though Bruce had his back, none of them were impressed with Tony, because Pepper had (a tad spitefully) told them everything in the waiting room. So it would be best if Tony stayed away from the tower for a few days until they cooled off, and then he could ask for forgiveness.

Once everyone had been through, Loki slunk back in with a big bag of mint chocolate drops acquired from the hospital shop, munching them thoughtfully.

"Darcy and I are going back to LA tonight," Loki said, ignoring the lack of a greeting from either of them. "M'lady has singing lessons at noon and I have a contract to negotiate. You should come for a drink with ourselves and a few of our associates tonight."

 _"No,_ Loki, he's sick!" Darcy protested.

"He's only as ill as he feels," Loki said cheerily.

"Why the hell should I come with you, Loki?" Tony asked irritably. "It hasn't worked out great for me in the past."

Loki leaned down close to him so his lips were brushing Tony's ear, minty sweet breath blowing across his face. "Quite simply, because you want to know why I'd possibly invite you out with myself after tossing you over twice."

Actually, that wasn't a bad point. Tony was curious, by nature, and the fact Loki was acting completely unlike a normal human being was intriguing. Maybe that was how Loki sucked people in, though, by acting so contrarily that you just had to know.

He had three options; go back to Stark Tower and be fixed with withering glares, go stay in a hotel and mope alone, or go out with Darcy, Loki and their friends. And Tony didn't feel too bad, though that would change once the anaesthetic wore off.

_Hey, any way, there's bound to be depression and self-loathing. At least with Loki there's a chance I'll get laid._

"Sure, why the hell not, Princess." Tony sighed. "But I'm not drinking. Not with the head injury that _you_ gave me."

Loki couldn't have looked less guilty, completely ignoring the jibe. "I don't drink either, Stark. We can make an occasion of it."

-O.O-

Everything was actually rather dull until Darcy left, claiming she had to be steady and sober for her singing lesson. Then it was just Loki and Tony off to the side a little of the others, Loki unwilling to talk to them.

This was actually the first time Tony had had a proper conversation with Loki while fully sober, and it showed in that they weren't having sex yet. However, the conversation was verging on the salacious. (This was aided along by the fact that Loki, inevitably it seemed in these situations, was flying a little high.)

"So when did you figure you weren't strictly a ladies man?" Tony asked, sipping a girly mocktail that actually tasted rather nice. Normally, doctor's orders were thoroughly ignored by him, but he didn't want to pass out and die.

"It was never a question," Loki shrugged. "When I was younger, I had a lot of difficulty distinguishing between genders, or, in fact, between people. While I grew more adept as I got older, honestly, gender has never factored in anything to me. You?"

"Got drunk and fucked a guy at MIT. Then I started to wonder about being bi," Tony laughed.

"That's the spirit," Loki sighed, looking thoughtfully into his milkshake cup.

 _Who the fuck drinks milkshakes at a bar?_ Tony thought. _Loki Feison, that's who._

Tony decided then to broach a topic. "Loki, will you answer one question of mine honestly? Just one?"

"It depends on the question," Loki replied, and yeah, Tony had been expecting that.

"Why did you do all those things to me, and why are you sitting here right now playing polite?" Tony asked.

"Technically that's two questions," Loki smirked, and when Tony bristled, he rolled his eyes and said "To put it bluntly; Stark, I manipulated you into angering your girlfriend because seeing someone lose their composure is an enormous source of entertainment for me. I adore chaos and conflict. I'm sitting here right now 'playing polite' because in all honesty I want to see how long your attempted camaraderie with me will last before you stop self-flagellating in the name of curiosity. I don't intend to be any kinder to you than I am now."

Well, at least he was honest. Tony rubbed his hair exasperatedly. "You're obviously the genius, so riddle me this. Why the fuck am _I_ still sitting here?"

"Because, as I mentioned, you're curious. Also, there's a chance you think there's a good person hiding underneath this shell." Loki snorted.

"I don't understand, though. Why would you just hurt someone for no reason?"

"It doesn't hurt me, because I don't care what you feel, so I see no harm," Loki said boredly.

_Yep. Psychopath. Not a hint of empathy._

"Was any of what you said to me the other night true? Do you care about me even slightly?" Tony asked.

Loki's lips curved into an evil grin. It suited him. "If I told you that, _Tony_ , it would ruin the game."

"I hate you."

"Mm, no, you don't. Because you're unsure of how many truths I've spoken to you, you can't decide upon your feelings for me," Loki said.

"No, I really fucking hate you," Tony insisted, knowing Loki was completely right.

Loki bit his lip thoughtfully, before saying "Do you recall how that infamous recording came about?"

 _Nope._ "Not really."

"It was entire honesty, on your part. I was teasing you, my fingers gently brushing you, and you looked into the 'really fucking green' - as you so put it - of my eyes and suddenly declared it so. Then I asked for a recording, for posterity, and you obliged," Loki purred, his voice transitioning suddenly from his deadpan to a seductive velvet tone. "You meant it. For a short time, you were well and truly in love with me."

"Shut up!" Tony snapped, feeling that rush of nausea and anger that accompanied Loki being a little shit. He knew that was what Loki wanted, for him to get angry, yet here he was.

"How's your jaw, my tiny billionaire?" Loki asked him suddenly. If that wasn't a threat, Tony didn't know what was.

"A little achey," Tony snapped. Fuck, he was sick of this. He just wanted to sleep. "You know what, screw you, pretty boy. I'm going home."

"Back to your hotel, you mean," Loki smirked, before looking around the bar and then turning back to Tony. "In blunt terms, I'm going to get fucked by someone in this place before night's end, and I'm giving you first choice before the petty squabbles begin."

Ah, the familiar feeling of getting dragged in a 180 turn by Loki for no apparent reason. Unfortunately, Tony's dick was firmly telling him it was a yes, and Tony's brain was fighting a losing battle against it. He was sober, right? So he couldn't slip up. It wouldn't mean anything. And Loki liked a bit of pain, so Tony could take out some anger.

Then some asshole had to butt in. And not in any good way.

"You're Tony Stark, right?" asked a man, one of the people Darcy had been talking with.

"Yeah," Tony replied, hoping no autographs were needed, because he really didn't feel like it.

The man, whoever he might have been, had four other guys behind him, and Tony had seen this scene enough in school to know that Loki was going to be the victim here, and Tony was the victim for being forced to talk to him. Because that was the way. These guys hadn't grown up.

And suddenly, Tony wanted to see how Loki would handle it.

"Why're you with the fairy?" the man continued.

Oh. Yay. Homophobic slurs.

"He's my friend," Tony snapped. Loki raised his eyebrows at the display of loyalty.

"Watch out, Iron Man. Your fairy friend's had every dick in the industry up his ass," the guy smirked.

"Mm, no, I'm only attracted to attractive people," Loki said smoothly. "So I can guarantee I have not slept with you five, at least."

Apply ice to burn.

The man looked irritated. "I don't even know why you tried for Winston. You're a joke - it's bad PR for them to have someone like you in the lead." Tony wondered if 'someone like you' referred to the bisexuaity, the psychopathy, or something he didn't know about.

"Because I have more talent in one skin cell than you have in your entire body," Loki replied in an easy deadpan. "Scratch that. It'll be a few more lessons before you're at that level. I recommend you attend them instead of harrassing me and my associate."

Tony wondered what the clinical name for an aversion to having your face touched was. Because whatever you'd call it, Loki had it. Loki wasn't making eye contact with the guy, and he sought to rectify this by lifting Loki's chin with his finger.

Suddenly the guy was on the floor, and Loki was no longer sitting. These two events had to be related, but it had been a bit of a blur and Tony hadn't quite caught it. Then Tony caught a look at Loki's face.

Not because of the face-touching, but likely because of the homophobia, Loki looked furious. "Lay a hand on me again and I will ensure you lose it," he hissed.

"Loki, calm, you don't need to be arrested today," Tony muttered, patting Loki lightly on the shoulder.

Loki whirled to glare at him. "Do not pretend you're any better, Stark. I see how you covet my longer hair, my slim waist, my finer build. You most appreciate my traits of effeminacy. Never mind that you would not bottom - you seek anything but a man in a man's body."

For once, Loki had gotten a fact wrong, and Tony felt good calling him out on it. "Uh-uh, fairy. For once you got it _wrong._ I'll bottom. Hell, you just needed to ask. You're just enough of a slut that you didn't notice while you were trying to fill your ass."

"I wonder if that statement will make it into the gossip rags tomorrow," Loki smirked, nodding at their small audience.

"Oh for _fucks_ -" Tony groaned, not even knowing why Loki would _bother_ messing with him now. He'd called himself Loki's friend, but evidently that didn't matter.

 _Why do I do this to myself? I hate him. I hate me,_ Tony thought. He snatched Loki by the neck and pinned him against the bar, knowing Loki was probably strong enough to shove him back, knowing Loki wouldn't. "All your little psychology studies, you ever do'em on yourself? You know you're a psychopath? You're a bag of crazy, and I don't know why you're doing this to me!"

There was a flash of something like old pain in Loki's eyes until he squished it down and hissed at Tony, actually hissed, before lashing out and kneeing Tony in the kidney.

It hurt like _fuck,_ and Tony doubled over with a cry of pain as the pain inexplicably shot directly from his torso to his jaw.

(Tony could see a pattern here - confront Loki while drunk, get laid. Confront him while sober and get the shit beaten out of you.)

"I hate you so much," Tony choked out in pain. He needed to get out, now. He'd had enough of Loki's shit.

The homophobic asshats that had started all this glared at Loki as Tony stumbled out the emergency exit into the alleyway behind.

 _Why am I doing this to myself?_ Tony thought again. _Why? To have a look at his brain? His brain's messed up. I went out with him tonight to try and make friends, and I feel like he's ruptured my kidney._

_I'm done with him._

_No, seriously this time._

_Done._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys: a few people have made noises about a sequel.
> 
> As it stands, a prequel is going to happen, because I've given Loki a backstory I think needs to be shared, and this will entail, in leaps forward, his life. To those who know it, it will be set to 'Can't Help Thinking About Me' by David Bowie and The Lower Third.
> 
> The sequel, though.  
> I have quite a lot of interest in Loki's thing, which is Psychopathic Personality Disorder, and I know you folks are likely only here for the Frostiron. On one extreme, there's just another Loki vs Tony fic of the brains, or on the other, Loki self-explores, likely through his parents. The latter would definitely be Frostiron, a building relationship. But what balance of the two do you guys want? Or I could make them into two different fics.
> 
> (Remember, I can't hear your opinions unless you tell me them)


	8. You Knock'em Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which goddamn Hydro-Man (what kind of name is that anyway?) is a dick. Then Loki is a dick. Then Tony. Everyone is dicks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is short. Which is sad.
> 
> If you haven't already seen it - this now has a prequel called Can't Help Thinking About Me.  
> Also, the plans for the sequel have been solidified. It's currently titled All The Madmen and is very Loki-centric, though with FrostIron in there. Psychology is fun.

Tony had borderline cried himself to sleep. He hadn't actually cried, lords no, and he'd never admit it if he did, but between the pain in his kidney and jaw and head and ribs, and the less literal pain in his brain and heart, he had been bloody close. And he couldn't even drink.

When he woke the next morning, he felt like doing nothing. True to form, he spent all morning lying in bed, sulking.

JARVIS alerted him as Clint, Bruce and Steve all tried to get a hold of him.

_Thanks, Natasha._

He wasn't expecting Darcy's call, but he ignored her anyway.

By late afternoon, he'd at least showered and shaved, which he considered an achievement when you factored in his mood.

Then JARVIS told him a group call had gone out to the Avengers, and while not addressed to Tony, he received it anyway because JARVIS was his favourite child.

There was an Avengers callout in LA.

_Loki!_

_Darcy!_

Tony corrected his own thoughts.

_Mostly Darcy!_

Which was a lie to himself, in all honesty. Loki was lethal, and despite everything, still firmly embedded in his brain.

In any case, Fury himself couldn't have stopped Tony. He had the suitcase Iron Man, and fully intended to use it.

-O.O-

An hour and a half later, Tony was in Malibu, having flown at ludicrous speeds and drained a great deal of power on the way.

A briefing by JARVIS had told him that he was fighting a guy called Hydro-Man ("Is that the stupidest villain name ever, Jay?" "I believe the 'League of Evil Mutants' already has that title reserved, sir.") and that if you wanted to attack LA, a guy who had the power to move water was exactly what you needed.

The Avengers couldn't get there fast enough. The lower houses, those along the beach, had been flooded by seawater, some washed away, and people were resorting to climbing cliffs and stealing cars to escape.

Hydro-Man himself looked very pleased, standing on a (physically impossible) pillar of water.

After a few minutes of Tony saving people from the deluge, the enormous crashing waves just stopped.

And Tony realised where he was. The cliff underneath Loki's house. At the top of said cliff, Loki was on his balcony, glaring vehemently at the supervillain.

_I hate you. I think. I might be in love with you. But that doesn't mean I don't hate you._

"Fuck off!" Loki shouted at Hydro-Man. "Go destroy Hawaii or Mexico or somewhere I don't fucking live!"

_Ah, so considerate towards other people._

Hydro-Man did not appreciate Loki's bluntness. That could be gathered by the fact he started to summon a lot of water.

"Loki! Get out of there!" Tony commanded, his voice amplified by the Iron Man's speaker.

"Fuck you too, Stark," Loki snapped, and a quick zoom revealed why - Loki was injured, a few extra bruises and a distinct limp that could only have come from Loki's sharp mouth being left with those homophobes last night.

 _Now I feel bad. You should go fuck yourself,_ Tony thought.

Then the wave broke. The wave that was the height of the whole cliff but only the width of Loki's house. And intentionally directed at the actor.

The wave hit Loki with the force of a truck, and snagged Tony along for the ride too. In a moment, the pair were tangling together, saved only by - ironically - falling into Loki's plunge pool.

The pool probably saved Loki's life, blocking him from the brunt of the hit.

Tony and Loki both were swirling around in the pool, wary of surfacing with Hydro-Man still out there.

"Play dead!" Tony said underwater.

By the fact that Loki suddenly went limp, Tony assumed he'd heard.

They stayed there for as long as Tony could allow, JARVIS keeping an eye on Loki's life signs. Then Tony shouted an all clear and dragged Loki from the depths of the pool, discarding him in the silt as he lunged forward to attack Hydro-Man.

For his many assets, Hydro-Man was actually pretty hopeless against waterproof opponents like Tony. Tony found it hilarious that for his obvious prodigious fighting skill, a quick blast with a freezing fire extinguisher had him messed up and slow enough for a punch in the skull. And another one, because the first one didn't work. Then he just carried Hydro-Man and dropped him in a soggy pile on the beach. A minute or two, and the fight was over.

"You, my friend, are a complete asshole," Tony snapped, before flying up to Loki's house - now missing most windows and completely shattered by salt and wave force - to brag a bit at Loki.

Loki hadn't moved from where Tony had left him, lying in a puddle next to the plunge pool. Face down. Shit! The hero's heart jumped into his throat. "JARV, life signs, come on!"

"Mr Feison appears to be drowning, sir. I'd recommend immediate mouth-to-mouth resuscitation - he is not breathing, though his heart is functioning. I am calling the hospital now."

"Thanks, Jay-" Tony gasped, swooping down and taking off his helmet, before rolling Loki over.

He wasn't breathing, and there was a gash on his head. Tony had probably hit his head pulling him from the pool.

Tony tipped his head back, opening his mouth and pressing his own to it as he pinched Loki's nose shut.

A few breaths in, Tony felt ridiculous.

Then Loki began coughing violently, and Tony helped him prop himself on his elbow and cough up water, until Loki retched and threw up.

"That's not attractive, big guy," Tony winced.

Loki glared nastily at him, falling limply onto his side. "I don't give a fuck. I nearly _drowned_ , and you are solely to blame."

"Uh, no. You goaded Hydro-Ass, and he attacked the city. Your logic's out," Tony snapped back.

"I don't care." Loki rasped.

"Where's Darcy?" Tony sighed, knowing already this conversation was a lost cause.

"Further in town. She'll be fine. I need a hospital, you ass," Loki growled, coughing nastily again, bringing up a watery fluid.

"JARVIS called one. What, no thanks?"

"You haven't earned one," Loki snarled, his voice hoarse. "What you said to me last night-"

"You're seriously offended by being called a psychopath? That's what you are! You've put me through goddamn _hell_ since we met, and you're upset because I pointed out something about you?" Tony said in disbelief.

"Sir!" JARVIS said in Tony's earpiece. "I must report: the front windows of your home on Malibu point have been shattered by Hydro-Man's attacks. Mild water damage to your front rooms."

"And my house! My house, my girlfriend, my position on the Avengers - all fucked up since you turned up," Tony said, feeling close to tears. Loki started coughing again, looking completely miserable, but Tony couldn't stop. "You - you're like a fire, you just burn everything around you, and you don't feel guilty-" There were tears in Tony's eyes now. "What's _wrong_ with you, you freak?! I hate you! But you're a genius, you're brilliant and amazing and I love you and I _hate you so fucking much!"_ Tony shouted.

Loki was choking on fluid again. Tony slapped him on the back and Loki started to retch, but he hadn't eaten enough recently to throw up again.

Then Tony sat down on Loki's damaged balcony and started to cry.

Just 'til the ambulance arrived.


	9. Caught Yourself A Trick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, sorry it's late. The epilogue should be up soon.
> 
> Sorry if it's not what you expected = P

The actual Avengers turned up fifteen minutes after the bad guy had been taken down.

Tony asked if they brought Starbucks. They had not.

By this point, Tony had saved nearly everyone that needed saving, of which there were few. For a guy who'd had about two hours to wreak chaos on the land, Hydro-Man hadn't really done much.

When the Avengers had arrived, Tony had left immediately to see Loki in hospital.

Loki was fine, just being kept overnight after having water down his airways.

The actor was asleep, and Tony realised this was the first time he'd seen him without the slight coldness to his eyes and the guardedness of his features. The odd innocence suited him, Tony decided, and he wished Loki was a little more like this in day to day life.

Then everything would be okay and Tony wouldn't be trying to think of a way to get out of the fact he'd bluntly disregarded an order from Fury to stand down and gone to LA anyway. Not that he hadn't ignored direct orders before, but, well, he liked being an Avenger.

When kids with Iron Man t-shirts weren't dying.

The Avengers could go fuck themselves on those days.

Loki snuffled. Tony wanted to scoop him up and carry him home and maybe dress him in a Snuggie because his reaction would be funny.

"Hey, it's not an urban legend. Loki does sleep," Darcy said, appearing in the doorway.

"Yeah, I was surprised too," Tony said weakly. He still felt wrung-out from his crying fit on Loki's balcony.

"He's a bit of a mess, isn't he?" Darcy sighed. "His agent's been notified, his interview tomorrow's been cancelled."

She had a point. Loki had half-drowned, cut his head on the side of the plunge pool, been given a kicking last night from those assholes in the bar, and still had a delightful purpling across his cheekbone from Tony's punch.

Tony wasn't feeling much better. He was tired, he still hadn't gotten his cracked tooth seen to, he had two stitches in his cheek, he had a sore jaw, and the pain in his ribs, never mind the pain in his stomach and kidneys where Loki had hit him.

Darcy, however, looked beautiful and flawless.

"He's going to be angry," Tony said with an eye roll.

"He'll probably blame you for everything, so I'll agree," Darcy snorted.

"I've asked you it before, Darcy, and I'll ask again; how the hell do you stay friends with him without him stabbing you in the back?" Tony asked.

Darcy chuckled.

"Don't laugh at me. I like him when he's behaving," Tony protested.

"I'm not laughing at you. It's just, I met Loki four years ago, and he stabbed me in the back then. See, Tony, Loki has no concept of other people. I mean, he knows that people are living and they have feelings and they empathise with each other, but he only knows that because that's what he's been told, not because he's been through it. That's my theory anyway. And 'cause he doesn't understand the whole relationships and emotions thing, he likes to mess with it and see what happens. I used to get angry at him, but it doesn't have any effect; I can't teach him empathy. Like how you can't teach a dog to live underwater. He doesn't have the capacity for it," Darcy explained. "So, my answer is, when dealing with Loki, you can like him, hell, you can love him, even though he'll never do it back, but you should never ever trust him."

"Do you?" Tony asked.

"Do I what?" Darcy said innocently.

"Do you love him?"

"I used to. But I learned my lesson," Darcy answered. "The hard way. Question is, Tony, why do you want to be Loki's friend so much anyway?"

"I don't know," Tony groaned, hanging his head in his hands. "I just do. He's smart, and I like him for some reason. Maybe it's that thing where you only want something 'cause you can't have it."

"Well, uh, just - don't tell him anything personal, don't touch his face and don't call him crazy and everything'll be fine," Darcy laughed.

"Everything'll be fine," Tony repeated with a wry smile.

-O.O-

Steve and Bruce came to the hospital to pick Tony up and take him to a meeting with Fury.

Directed to Loki's room, they saw through the glass Tony leaning onto Loki's bed while Darcy quietly read in the corner.

"I don't get it, Bruce," Steve said. "After everything Loki's done, why is Tony sticking with him?"

Bruce just gave a resigned shrug. "He's Tony. His loyalties lie in strange places."

Then they knocked on the door and asked Tony to join them in the family room for the meeting.

-O.O-

"What were you thinking, Iron Man? I told you to _stand down!"_ Fury growled.

"I was thinking that this is where I live! My house and my workshop and my friends are here in LA, and I wasn't going to sit back and watch it get destroyed!" Tony countered.

"The Avengers were on their way, and as I _just_ said, you were supposed to stand down!" Talk about broken record.

"I didn't come here as an Avenger! I came here as Tony Stark, for Loki and Darcy and Dum-E and other things that mean more to me than your approval!" Tony snapped. "I made my choice, and it doesn't matter what you think! What're you gonna do, kick me out? You use _my_ tower and _my_ money and you need me around!"

Fury took a deep breath, getting that expression that meant this was his final judgement. "Consider yourself suspended from the Avengers until you prove you can behave."

"Wasn't that the original punishment?" Tony asked. He knew Fury couldn't kick him out, and he couldn't be arrested for helping, so this was the worst they could do.

Fury just left, trailed by Coulson.

-O.O-

Loki was awake and chatting cheerily to Darcy when Tony returned. When he spotted the man entering his room, he fixed him with a harsh glare.

"Oh, what, you fucking princess?" Tony snapped. The theory _'confront Loki while drunk and get laid, confront him while sober and get the shit beaten out of you'_ was made redundant by Loki being sore and in bed, and his anger at Fury was being (rightfully) directed at Loki. "Never mind me saving your life, let's all just be mad at Tony."

"My life would not have needed saving if you hadn't risked it," Loki growled.

"What. The. Hell." Tony said in disbelief. "Look, man, you may be crazy, but you have to admit that was your fault-"

He was cut off by the expressions on Darcy's and Loki's faces.

Darcy looked legitimately concerned for Tony's well-being.

The fire coming from Loki's eyes actually made Tony feel hot and uncomfortable.

"Out." Loki said, his voice deadly calm.

"Loki-" Tony was actually afraid of what Loki could do in better health with that look.

"Get. Out," Loki insisted.

Tony cast a look at Darcy, who was mouthing 'just do it'.

So he did as ordered, turning and leaving.

-O.O-

Tony sat in his workshop in Malibu, sipping whiskey from the bottle and thinking about Loki.

For a start, what the fuck. Loki was crazy and at times openly admitted to being a tad unhinged, but took great offence to anyone else saying it.

On thought, Tony decided that Loki was self-deprecating - he'd accepted that there was something wrong than him but didn't want to hear about it.

Tony found it very hard to hate Loki. Despite everything he'd done, Loki just didn't seem to realise or care that he was hurting people, and it was hard to hate him when he didn't understand the magnitude of what he was doing.

(Though, in all truth, Loki understood and didn't care)

Tony felt cheated, somehow. This wasn't how stories went. Stories had a happy ending; after all the conflict, they confessed their love on the edge of a cliff or on a beach or on top of a tall building looking at the stars. Tony had stood up to Fury and risked his life and taken hits for Loki.

Instead there was this. A prompt dismissal from a hospital room by a psychopath that Tony half-hated, half-loved. Anticlimactic and painful.

Shouldn't Loki have let up? Wasn't Tony sitting by his bedside enough?

No. Because Loki was Loki and Tony was Tony and in the end things had to go wrong somehow, never mind a night where Tony had poured his life to Loki and said he loved him, and Loki had stabbed him in the back for fun.

 _Was I expecting a goddamn fairy tale?_ Tony thought.

But the truth of the matter was, Tony's determination to see good in Loki had resulted in him hurting himself like a bird smashing his brains out against a window pane.

In his defence, Loki had moved the pane into his way so he would hit it.

Tony hated being alive. It was too hard. He just wanted to sleep, to lay his head down and not wake up because rest had to be better than rebuilding his house and working to get his position on the Avengers and working past his alcoholism again and working past the images of the bloody t-shirt in his mind whenever he closed his eyes and trying to get Pep and the Avengers back on his side.

For a moment, he legitimately considered just walking out onto his broken balcony and jumping off to dash himself onto the rocks.

Wouldn't that be letting Loki win?

He was 99% certain Loki didn't want him dead, to tell the truth. He wanted to watch him freak out.

Tony knew he was too cowardly to kill himself.

Which left lying down and letting his life fall down, or rebuilding.

He was Tony Stark. The mechanic. The builder.

He would rebuild. He'd fallen further before.


	10. The Best Of The Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue, of sorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's over. I don't think this'll go down in my great successes - judging by the response from last time, well, I'm pretty sure you've all given up on it. But in all honestly the sequel is developed enough in my brain that its existence is rather assured.
> 
> A comment would be nice. Morale is low in DaftShoePleb's cave of writings.

"Tony! Your boyfriend's on TV!" Clint shouted.

Tony knew who he was talking about. Of course. One of the conditions of Tony's spending time with the Avengers again was that Clint was allowed full mocking rights.

The asshat.

"For a start, that dickhead is not my boyfriend," Tony growled bitterly. "And, Clint, he's an actor. He will be on TV occasionally."

"Nah, it's about him. I'm sure you'll love it," Clint said.

Tony could hear the smirk in his voice, but he went to the living room anyway.

"-a surprising piece of entertainment news, standardised intelligence testing has shown actor Loki Feison - known, amongst other things, for his remarkable work on BBC's _The Hollow Crown_ and on Spielberg's _War Horse_ , amongst others, and for his current lead in the Broadway production _1984_ \- to be up with Tony Stark and Reed Richards in terms of intelligence. What do you think, Hamish?"

'Hamish' smiled and said "I've seen that in a lot of our English actors - well educated. What did Loki have to say on the subject, Annette?"

Oh, the horror of daytime talk show hosts.

"When asked, Loki said that nothing would change-"

"Just turn it off," Tony said irritably. One more word about Loki and he'd lock himself in his room.

Tony was 63 days sober. He'd spent about two weeks after his thing with Loki sulking before deciding to get his shit together. Now it had been a long time, he'd eventually gotten himself sober, Loki and Darcy had both gotten their roles in _1984,_ and he was glad to be rid of him. Pepper still wouldn't take him back, but he was dealing with life.

-O.O-

After the final bows, Loki smiled winningly at the crowd and strode brightly off stage. Once clear of the eyes of the crowd, he ruffled away the powder that greyed his black hair a little and smudged away the makeup that made him look lined and beaten down, then ducked into his dressing-room to clean himself properly.

Once he was clean and tidy and dressed in a tidy suit as opposed to the Outer Party piece of crap he'd had on before, there was a click as someone slipped into the room.

"Hey, Loki," Darcy said cheerily. "Nice work. Your best yet, I think."

"You were commendable yourself, m'dear," Loki hummed, picking up his book and leafing through to his page. "It's only been four days on show. I'd hope the entire process becomes a little smoother in the future."

"Stop fussing," Darcy chided, snatching his book and whirling his chair around so she had to face him. "I've been thinking."

"You had to start sometime. Give it back," Loki snarked.

"No. Serious conversation time," Darcy insisted.

"Oo," Loki purred, still feeling a tad playful from the rush of a good night's work. "Miss Lewis, growing a spine and laying down the law. It's a change. Have we met? We must go to dinner."

"I'm going to let that slide, because your typical response to a serious conversation is to become even more of an asshole," Darcy said. "You don't actually want to talk to me and I don't want to have sex with you, so the dinner's a no."

"I'm hurt."

"You don't have a soul," Darcy pointed out. "Look, Loki. This is an experiment. Name one person not related to you - related includes family friends and Thor's friends - that you've met since you were fifteen that you've had more than half a dozen conversations with and not had sex with them," Darcy challenged.

Loki scanned his brain. "My agent."

"That doesn't count. You're not his friend, you're his retirement plan. Anyone else?" Darcy asked.

Loki bit his lip, unwilling to concede defeat.

"Exactly, Loki. Now, _Tony_ of all people gave you like, half a dozen chances to behave yourself, and you shoved him away-"

"It was four chances," Loki interrupted.

"Yeah, well, that's three more than most people would give someone like you. To cut straight to the point, you are the single loneliest human being I've ever met. And we both know there's a crossed wire or three in your head - oh, don't give me that look, I'm not telling everyone - but you can't go on like this. You'll just behave worse without someone to hold you back. And I'm not going to be here forever."

"No."

"I haven't suggested anything."

"You're very predictable," Loki scowled.

"Too fucking bad, princess," Darcy said, taking on an eeriely Tonyish air. "Ultimatum: you contact Tony and apologise, because if he won't take you back no one will, or you find some other friend. You may have crossed wires, but that's no excuse for behaving like you do."

"And why should I do that?" Loki said.

"If you don't, I'll leave too, and I know for a fact that you don't want me to go," Darcy said bluntly.

Actually, she had a point. Loki may have been a lone wolf, or at least claimed to be, but he needed Darcy as someone who knew him to actually have a proper conversation with.

Irritably, Loki rubbed his face, clearing away another smudge of foundation. "I will consider it."

"Good. That better mean _I'll do it but I don't want to let Darcy know she's won."_ Darcy smirked. "Hey, you know what would be good for you? If Tony threw the whole apology back in your face."

"Shut up," Loki snapped.

"I'm just teasing, Loki. I'll see you later for drinks with the others, yeah?"

"Perhaps," Loki said.

Once she'd left, Loki called an assistant in. "Ma'am, is it possible for me to request two prime tickets for the show in two days, for friends of mine?"

"Certainly, Mr Feison," the assistant blushed, dashing out the door and returning ten minutes later with two tickets.

"That's all, thanks," Loki said, giving his widest grin. He actually loved seeing the effect he could have on people.

In a few minutes, Loki had slipped both tickets into an envelope and addressed it to Stark Tower, adding a note and getting a late courier to take it to Stark Tower.

_Anthony Stark - I'd request your presence at my show, two nights from now, and if you wish to bring a guest you may. Please visit my dressing room after the show._   
_-LF_

**Author's Note:**

> Comments please!


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